Transcript

Renee Show Notes

Melanie Suzanne Wilson (00:01)

Renee, welcome to the show.

Renee Borgelt (00:03)

Thank you for having me.

Melanie Suzanne Wilson (00:04)

You have quite a story to share. Let's dive right in and share what happened.

Renee Borgelt (00:11)

Okay, basically, let me start with, have you ever had that voice inside of you that says something's not right, right, or don't go that way, or you shouldn't do that? Have you ever had that voice, and you didn't listen? That was, yeah, that was me on the morning of September 14th of 2023. I had been at my brother's down the street from where we had been staying in our camper at my mom's, and I had been doing some painting, and that little voice was screaming at me. And that was the second time in my life that I didn't listen. And I had walked over to fill my paint roller, because like I said, I was doing some painting for my brother, and I could see my husband outside the window because we had been staying in our camper. My husband had had two strokes the year prior.

And so, my husband was a truck driver and he was, we were living in our camper at my mom's. So my husband could drive truck again from my husband after he recovered from all of his strokes. And so I had looked out the window and I seen him take the dog leash off of the camper, the outside dog leash. And I didn't think anything of it at that second. And then I went back to painting, and within minutes, my alarm bells were just screaming at me. And they're like, something's not right. You need to walk back. And so I put down the roller, and I proceeded to walk back towards our camper, where we were staying. And I was trying to call my husband's phone as I walked, and I wasn't getting any answer, which was really strange. And as I got closer, to the camper, had discovered that my husband had taken his life.

Melanie Suzanne Wilson (02:10)

Is that he had taken his life. That was after he noticed the dog leash was missing.

Renee Borgelt (02:15)

Mm-hmm.

Yep. Yep. Yeah. I seen him take the dog leash off. And like I said, the alarm bells in my head were screaming at me, and I knew something wasn't right. And so when I walked over there, yeah, he had proceeded to take his life, which in that moment, you know, we had been together for 32 years. So 32 years just gone, crumbled, you know, my worst nightmare had happened.

And.

Melanie Suzanne Wilson (02:50)

It really is. It is.

Renee Borgelt (02:52)

It was, yeah, my worst nightmare. I, you know, I, and so I proceeded to try to give him CPR and tell the paramedics to come and, yeah. And then the rest of the day was just kind of a blur. And, for the next two weeks, it was, it was even hard to breathe. Cause in that 32 years we'd been together, we'd never been apart more than two weeks. And.

I didn't know what to do. know, everybody kept telling me, Renee, just keep putting one foot in front of the other. And, I could barely breathe. So it was literally minute by minute, hour by hour, day by day. I was just getting by, you know, so.

Melanie Suzanne Wilson (03:38)

What happened leading up to this? Was he depressed?

Renee Borgelt (03:44)

Well, like I said, he had had two strokes. He had gotten sick at the end of 21 with pneumonia and went into the hospital. And, while in the hospital, he had had two strokes. And so, that let, cause he actually got better pretty quickly, but then the strokes happened. And so he was in the hospital for 88 days. And by the time he got out, he had no muscle mass left. had.

He basically had to learn how to do life all over again. And so we went through six months of physical therapy to get his life back, and he did really well. And he went back to driving a truck, but he didn't have his upper mobility back. So we couldn't get up on a truck and tarp it yet. And so my brother owned a trucking company. And so that's when my brother said, Hey, you know, why don't you come, come home and bring the camper, and I can put him to work and he doesn't have to get up on a truck and it putting back behind the steering wheel again, which is what he loved to do. Right. That's all he ever wanted to do is drive a truck. And, I had noticed the weeks prior, something was really weighing on him. And I know that he was really struggling, I think with directions, right? And thinking, you know, Hey, I'm not sure how much longer I'm going to be able to do this. Right. And, you know, which meant, okay, now what am I going to do and how am I going to take care of, you know, my family? Right. And so.

Melanie Suzanne Wilson (05:14)

So it's really direction driving.

Renee Borgelt (05:16)

Yes, yeah, he was really getting mixed up. Yeah, so yeah.

Melanie Suzanne Wilson (05:23)

That's a theme that a lot of people can relate to because a lot of people, whether they get older or something happens to them, they certainly can't do the thing that they knew how to do and identified with. And that's, think, something we all need to reflect on for a moment. I want to really allow space for the listeners to absorb that.

Renee Borgelt (05:40)

Mm-hmm.

Melanie Suzanne Wilson (05:52)

We need to really allow space for people when they are struggling to do the thing that they enjoyed, they did well, and that brought them meaning. What do you think it was for him that brought him so much joy driving? Was it going to all these different locations? Was it feeling helpful? Was it something else?

Renee Borgelt (06:16)

I'm not quite sure. Just like I said, that's all he ever wanted to do, you know, is just to drive. He enjoyed driving. He wasn't a long-haul driver. He usually drove locally. He hauled a lot out of like saw mills and stuff. But he just loved it, right? That was his thing. And he had had an episode a couple of days prior to this happening, where I believe he had another stroke.

And that led to, you know, he had, I think, just given up at that point. Um, so yeah, I mean, there, there were signs, definitely there were signs there, obviously, you know, you know, hindsight's 2020, right? You know, we wish we could go back and, you know, when we, when we see those signs that, but, you know, you just, you never think, you know, and anybody that knew my husband knew that he wasn't, you know, that just wasn't his character, right? Like he was the happy-go-lucky guy that everybody loved and wanted to be around, you know, and so it wasn't in his character. So that's not something you just would have thought that he would do, you know? So, but, sorry, go, no, go ahead.

Melanie Suzanne Wilson (07:32)

How did you find peace with the new reality after he left?

Renee Borgelt (07:45)

It took a little bit. So like I was saying to you earlier, I wasn't sure, honestly, I wasn't sure I was going to stay, right? Like I, I didn't know how to live without him. We had been together since I was 16 years old, and I never knew an adult life without him. And, I was seriously, you know, not in a good place. And my daughter, my youngest daughter, said to me, she said, " You know, Mom, your life is worth living, right? And that was, that was the first time since he had passed. That was probably about a month in that I was like a light bulb moment, right? Like, wow. Cause I had basically lived my life for my kids and my husband, you know? And so, I was like, okay, I'm, know, I've got to figure out how to heal myself. My husband didn't leave me in a great spot financially. So therapy was out. And I'm the unique girl, know, the circle that don't fit in the square. So I was like, I don't think group therapy is going to work for me either. And so I'm like, I have to figure this out. And so I just started to deep dive into meditation and journaling. And I would go sit in nature, and I would journal, and I would cry. And what I was discovering is, is the more I went into meditation, then I, that's when I started making a connection with my spirit guides and they were giving me messages. And the first message they ever give me is what heals you will heal others. And somehow instinctively, I just knew that was going to be, lead me to my purpose. Why I had to go through everything that I went through and.

That just ended up taking me on a whole other journey that I never, ever expected. Ever.

Melanie Suzanne Wilson (09:39)

What heals you heals others.

That's crucial. And I can share with you that I've explored so many types of forms of looking after ourselves on this show, but it's very occasionally that someone has explored grief in this way. So I wanted to really hold that. And I wanted to start now asking, what do you want anyone to know if they think they might end up in a situation like yours, what do you want people to know first?

Renee Borgelt (10:17)

Basically, what I've learned through my journey has been about two and a half years. And what my biggest takeaway from all of this is, is that the things that we go through in life aren't happening to us. They're happening for us. And that was a pivotal moment for me when my guides were like, Renee, you're not, this isn't happening to you. You know, you had to go through all of this and, it.

And it led back to the day that I really, besides that message, then about a couple of weeks had went by and I had went into meditation, and I didn't get any messages that day, which was a little unusual. But as I came out of meditation, my husband had sent me a song. Cause my guides, that's what they had been doing. They'd been sending me messages and songs, and I could tell that it was from him, and he sent me that song, If You Could Turn Back Time And I could hear it playing on loop in my head. And it was like this light bulb went off in my mind, and I just sat, and I sobbed because it was like, no, we couldn't turn back time. And even if we could, I couldn't because this was what I had to go through in life, so that I could help other people. And that was the moment that I knew for sure, then this was my purpose in life to go through what I went through to help others.

Melanie Suzanne Wilson (11:47)

Do you perceive that other losses that people are going through can lead them to a role or a purpose of guiding other people after any sort of loss?

Renee Borgelt (12:02)

Absolutely, absolutely, right? Like, you know, I've now been online and, you know, I'm on TikTok live four nights a week, and I'm on there, and I'm helping people through loss. And, you know, that's my goal, you know, is to just help people and to make people realise that, like I said, everything in life is about your perspective and how you look at it, right? And you can look at it that you know, everything that you're going through is, poor me, it's happening to me. Or you can go, no, you know, it happened for me. And what lesson can I learn from this? And how can I use it to be a better person or to help somebody else? Right?

Melanie Suzanne Wilson (12:48)

Absolutely. Did you find any sense of community in any form after all of this?

Renee Borgelt (12:56)

Oh yes, I have a huge community actually online. I'm on like what, five platforms. So I have a huge community right now. I think I'm up to almost 18,000 followers at this point. hopefully I'll just keep climbing, right? Cause the more people, the more followers, the more I get my word out there that, one, you're not alone. That's the biggest thing, I want people to know that they're not alone. And

If I can get through it, anybody can get through it. You know, like I said, 32 years of my life just crumbled in the blink of an eye. And my, my ultimate goal is, is one for somebody to never, ever hopefully have to go through what I went through, you know, if I can prevent that. And then second, you know, is just being able to, there's so many people that are stuck.

You know what I mean? Like they lose somebody like I did. I, you know, I didn't know where I was going or, you know, and, know, my goal is to be able to help people not only through loss and to heal that loss, but to take it full circle and healing as far as, know, like somebody like me, okay, I don't, didn't have a life to go back to, right? That door closed that day he made that choice. And so to be able to help people go, okay, I healed, but what's the next step?

Right? You know, what is your passion? What is your goal? Where are you going to go from here? And so that's kind of my goal at this point.

Melanie Suzanne Wilson (14:29)

Your purpose is such a part of your next step that is crucial because especially you were so focused on your family and now you have space to support other people beyond family. And I'm curious, what have you found that your community normally needs on a normal day?

Renee Borgelt (14:55)

Like I said, mostly number one is just for people to know they're not alone. I get online and to know that what they're feeling is okay sometimes. When you go through a loss and a lot of these feelings come up, and I was talking to a lady the other day about, I think she had lost her son. He had taken his life.

And she said, you know, she was angry with him, but at the same time, she was upset with herself for being angry with him. You know, and that's one of the things that I teach, you know, when I'm, when I'm online is that, you know, even if it doesn't make sense to the outside world, your feelings are still valid, right? You know, I was angry with my husband for a long time. I worked through, you know, the loss and the guilt pretty quickly, but the anger, the anger stuck around, you know, until last summer, it was last fall before I finally was able to, to journal to him and to say, you know, I forgive you, I forgive you for leaving me. And, you know, here's the thing: I know that he wasn't in a good place. You know, you know, that logically, right? That's the logical mind, right? Saying that, you know, I know where you were, but the heart says something different, right? Just like that, mother, her heart is longing for her son, and she's angry that she no longer can hug him. But the logic in us says, well, that's wrong, but it's not. And so that's what I do. I get on and I tell people, it's okay, you're not alone. And it's okay to feel what you feel. Your feelings are valid. But my biggest thing is, is, you my grandma always told me, she said, you know, there's two types of people, there's those that, those that make excuses, and there's those that find a way, you know, and I could have laid in my bed for a year and a half and said, you know, feel sorry for me, and I lost my husband and my whole world. And, but instead, you know, where would that have gotten me, right? You know, it's just easier to get up, you know, and I tell people all the time, it's okay to have a moment.

Maybe you have 10 moments through the day, you know, but it's about not unpacking and living there, getting up and, okay, what am I gonna learn from this, changing your perspective and keep moving forward.

Melanie Suzanne Wilson (17:21)

You keep moving forward. So part of what anyone can do is have a moment and then get up.

Renee Borgelt (17:29)

Yep.

I know that sounds harsh, but that was my grandma's thing, you know?

Melanie Suzanne Wilson (17:30)

Sometimes... No!

It reminds me of that old phrase, pick up your measured walk.

Renee Borgelt (17:37)

That's when my grandma always used to say, " Have your pretty party, girly. Now pick up your pull-up your big girl pants, and let's go.”

Melanie Suzanne Wilson (17:44)

Yes, pull up your big girl pants. Do you find there's a discipline in that? In just saying, okay, you can feel the feelings now, get up anyway.

Renee Borgelt (17:47)

Right.

Yes, yes. Yep. Cause you have a purpose here. Everybody has a purpose here. You know, maybe mine is to touch thousands of people, but maybe somebody else's is just to touch one purpose, but that doesn't make their purpose any less than mine. Right. And so, you know, if you're still here and you're kicking and you're breathing, you have a purpose in this life. So, you know, have your moments, but keep going, keep going. Cause your life is important. And that's the other thing is reminding people that their life is important too.

Melanie Suzanne Wilson (18:23)

Just keep going. Do you find that structure helps in the day when you are keeping this discipline within your purpose?

Renee Borgelt (18:32)

Yes. Yes. For sure.

Melanie Suzanne Wilson (18:35)

How do you make that happen and stick with it?

Renee Borgelt (18:40)

I just ever since then, I'm a big meditation girl. So, you know, I get up, I do my meditation. Part of that for me is like I said, you know, I talked to my guides, and so Daily, I'm putting out messages that I get from my guides. So that's that, you know, the first thing I do I get up, I do my meditation You know, and I focus on like I said, okay What do I got to do to you know to be a better me today, you know, than I was yesterday and who can I help today? So that keeps me going every day.

Melanie Suzanne Wilson (19:13)

That question at the start of the day, you ask, " Who can I help today?

Renee Borgelt (19:19)

Yep. Yep.

Melanie Suzanne Wilson (19:21)

That is significant because we live in a culture and a world where people are normally just wondering what can they get for themselves in a day. So it sounds like part of why it elevates your purpose is to return to a service mindset.

Renee Borgelt (19:40)

Mm-hmm. Yeah. Yep. If you always go back to my thing is gratitude, you know, on the days where I am struggling, I go back to gratitude. I write in my gratitude journal. And then that always, you know, refocuses me back to, let's do this. Who can we help?

Melanie Suzanne Wilson (19:58)

But let's do this. It's amazing. And do you get any community aside from your followers online? Anything local?

Renee Borgelt (20:01)

Thank you.

I haven't really, my kids and I are starting a foundation for my husband. We haven't quite got that off the ground yet, but that's in the works. We got our mission statement, and our board figured it out. We just got to get all of the, you know, the ins and outs of the legal stuff figured out. But yeah, we're in the works for that, so.

Melanie Suzanne Wilson (20:28)

That's amazing. Tell me more about that.

Renee Borgelt (20:31)

Basically, we just, it's going to be called the doors always open, and it's going to be a suicide foundation, outreach for the community. One of our big goals is to start young, right? We have so many youth that are, that are checking out on us, you know, because they just, they feel alone, right? They don't feel like they don't have anybody. And so one of our goals is to, to get into the schools, you know, and to start young and say, look, you know,

You change somebody's story. And that's what I think people don't realise is, you know, when you're in that bad place, you don't realise you think that you're taking away your pain, but you don't realise that you're changing somebody's story. Like my husband, he didn't just change my story. He changed my kids' story, my grandkids' story, you know, his friends' story, you know, and to be able to get, you know, if we can get into the schools and start young and, and, and say, look, you're not alone, you know, and maybe you feel alone now, but, you know, you won't always feel alone, and you won't always be in this place. You know, there is hope.

But just being there for communities and being a safe place for people to go if they are struggling. And so they know that they're not alone. So that's our goal.

Melanie Suzanne Wilson (21:48)

What things do people need to keep in mind when they are supporting someone who is heading in that direction? I know that they need to be very mindful of how they approach it. What do people need to know?

Renee Borgelt (22:03)

Well, just being aware, that's the biggest thing. In my husband's case, in a little bit, I was aware, but at the same time, I guess I didn't realise how bad he was struggling, right? And a lot of times you hear people say, they put on a smile, but there are little signs that they like to leave. And so just be aware of those signs. And if you see them, be supportive, but here's the thing, too is, ou know, maybe they need some help, get them some help. You know, that's the big thing, to lead them in the right direction and always just so they know they're not alone, you know, and that they are worthy and their life is worth, you know, worth living. And, you know, as I said, they would change somebody's story, and they would be missed. You know, I get online every day, and I tell people you would be missed, you know, somebody will miss you.

Melanie Suzanne Wilson (23:00)

Someone will. Yes. So the books. We want to be mindful of how some listeners could be more or less spiritual, but it's a good time to ask, what do you talk about in the books?

Renee Borgelt (23:05)

Yes.

Okay, so my first book is just gonna be a compilation of the last two and a half years of the messages that I got from my guides. And they're just positive, uplifting messages. That's the first one. And then the other book is going to be, it's called My Journey Back to Myself. And it just, it talks about my story and where it's kinda led me.

Melanie Suzanne Wilson (23:40)

Going through the story. That's really crucial. The positive messages in the first book are those little bite-sized things? How do you think someone will, how do you know that someone might benefit the most from consuming that? Will it be an affirmation at the start of the day that they read into the next one, or is it something else?

Renee Borgelt (24:02)

It could be something like that, right? Because they're all different, right? So one day it's just, it's like a life lesson for you. And then the next day, it's just a little bit of inspiration. So maybe it's something where they can just go through, like you said, every day and pick something out that just resonates with them, right? That's the message that they need to hear. Because that's what I believe. I believe everything in life happens for a reason, right?

And so, if you're opening this book, the right message is going to pop out at you at the right time when you need it.

Melanie Suzanne Wilson (24:36)

You'll see what you need to see. We've all had that moment when a song plays nearby, or we see a chunk of a book at the right time. So people see what they need to see.

Renee Borgelt (24:38)

Yep.

Yep, exactly. And I believe the divine, whatever it is you believe, like I said, puts that right in your view, right when you need it.

Melanie Suzanne Wilson (25:01)

Absolutely, absolutely. Was that connection with some sort of divine crucial for your healing?

Renee Borgelt (25:10)

Absolutely, absolutely, every day. And they're the ones that guide me. I live my life now. When it first started, they are like, you need to put these messages out to the world. And I was like, OK. And so I was just, at the time, just kind of fooling around with Facebook Live. And I put it out there. And then my guides are like, no, no, no. You need to be doing reels every day.

I'm very technologically challenged. So I was like, I don't even know how to do a reel. And so that first Christmas, I went to Christmas with my kids, and I said to my granddaughter, she was a preteen at the time. And I said, " Can you help Grandma figure out how to do a reel? Cause I don't know what I'm doing. And so she's, she showed me how to do a reel. And of course, my guides were still, you know, they were nudging me. They were like, Renee, you need to be getting your story out there.

And I was like, yeah, yeah, I don't know if I want to do this, right? You know, I was leery. So come January then, because they're very persistent. If you know anything about spirit, they're persistent. So come January, I started putting reels out on Facebook and Instagram. And then February came around, and they're like, now you need to be on TikTok. And I'm like, I don't know how to be on TikTok. And so my daughter had a baby in March.

And so I dragged my feet till March, and then all my grandkids were at my house in March when my daughter had her baby. So I said, Hey, how about you guys help grandma start a TikTok? And they were thrilled, right? They had like six grandkids in my living room, all excited, you know? And so they helped me get on TikTok. And then that July, that's when my guide's like, okay, now you're ready. Now you need to be going live on TikTok. And I started going live four nights a week, and I've been doing four nights a week for two years.

And it's been the biggest, not only a blessing for me, right? Because it's funny, I always tell my followers, I'm the guinea pig here, right? My story is out there. Everybody knows my life. It's an open book. But when I get on Lives and whatever it is I'm talking about that night, because a lot of times I have a topic that my guide will give me and whatever I'm talking about is usually either something that I've been through that she's walked me through, or she's like, okay, you're not getting it. So you're going to tell everybody else how to get it. So you get it, too, right? So I'm the resident guinea pig. That's what I always say, you know, because I'm learning right along with everybody else, you know, at times, you know, so it's beneficial for me and them.

Melanie Suzanne Wilson (27:45)

This is telling me so much about how to talk to a community. Everybody can learn about how to share more about their experiences. You are guiding your followers through your learning journey, and it's not about having reached your destination.

Renee Borgelt (28:06)

No, that's one of probably the biggest lessons too, I've learned is it's not about the destination. It's about the journey getting there. Yep.

Melanie Suzanne Wilson (28:15)

Absolutely. And I'm sensing a lot of freedom from perfectionism in all of this, and not worrying about being an expert in vertical videos instantly, not worrying about having all of the answers, letting yourself be the guinea pig. Was that crucial? Freeing yourself from perfectionism.

Renee Borgelt (28:35)

Yes, and that was one of my lessons. That was a lesson to me, actually, because I'm very much an A personality, right? I like to have things, and I like to be prepared. And my guides like to keep me on my toes. The day of, I'll be like, hey, I still don't know. Because I rely on them. They tell me what I'm going to talk about. And then depending on when I get online, if I talk about that, if somebody's got a loss and that takes precedent, we talk about that.

You know, they'll lead me right up to 10 minutes before I'm going to go live and be like, okay, you know, and then they give me a topic. But yes, that's been very crucial for me, especially putting out my videos every day, because you know how you are, you know, it's like, I'll start it, and then I'll say something wrong. And it's like, okay, take one, you know, and there's been times I've been up to 12 takes. So it's like, and my guides are like, Renee, no, this isn't the point, you're missing the point, right? The point is getting the message out and being real with it.

You know, and there are days where it's like, I'll read what the message they give me, and it's not completely perfect. And I've learned now it's okay. Just hit next and post it because that's what makes me relatable to people is, you know, I'm just Renee. I'm just Renee, like I said, trying to do better than the person I was yesterday and trying to help somebody. And yeah.

Melanie Suzanne Wilson (29:57)

Don't do loads of takes and try to make it perfect. Just get anything out there.

Renee Borgelt (30:03)

Yep, just get it out there. Get your voice out there. That's more important than anything perfect you could put out there.

Melanie Suzanne Wilson (30:09)

Say anything. I completely agree, and I saw a freedom from perfectionism to some extent when I used to talk to groups a lot in person, and I knew it would go how it goes. But what you are saying is very crucial because, actually I was collaborating with someone who wanted every word to be precisely perfect, and the words will flow, and the audience will connect when you just let go. Do you think?

Renee Borgelt (30:51)

Yep.

Absolutely. Yep. Yep. Yeah. There's, for instance, last week I was doing, I did my live, and we had decided I was going to invite my girlfriend on, and we were just going to have some real talk between the two of us. And I just hit the live button, and we lost power. We were in the middle of a blizzard and I couldn't see my notes that my guides give me. So it was like, you know what? We're just going to go with this, right?

And, that's the thing is people don't, people don't want a script. They want you to be real, you know, they relate to you because you are real, and you know, they can relate to your story or something that you went through because you're a real person, right? There's nights I get on, you know, and I have my hair in a bun, you know, I'm not always perfect because after my husband passed, I had to work two jobs, you know, and I'm exhausted, and I'm getting on a live an hour a night after that, you know, and

My hair is always dirty; I don't care. But you know, I told my guides, I'm like, if I'm going to do this, I'm going to be the authentic me. Right. And so sometimes, you know, you just get what you get, but at the same time, I'm still here. I'm still doing it. I'm still showing up. You know, that's the point, show up anyway.

Melanie Suzanne Wilson (32:09)

You are showing up online, and you have two jobs. This is significant because, honestly, I'll share with you that I nearly got to the point of thinking I'm exhausted. There is so much going on. How much do I really want to be doing? And then I end up in a conversation like this one, and it reminds me, okay. This is why I keep doing something, doing this, but what you are showing is you had two jobs, you were exhausted, you were probably still in a phase of your grief as well. You had duties and emotions, and there's a serious physical depletion going on, and you still show up.

Renee Borgelt (32:49)

Mm-hmm. Yep.

Yep. Exactly. ‘Cause that's what you do, you know? And there was days, like I said, not only did I have two jobs, I was working 20 to 28 days straight, both jobs. And I would get online anyway, you know, I'd come home completely exhausted. And my guy's like, have a rest cause you're going to get on, you know, and you just do. And the thing is, I might've been exhausted when I started.

But it was so invigorating by the time I get off. If I touch that one person, because that's my goal, right? Every night, if I can just touch one person or plant a seed with one person, that their life is important or that they're not alone, right? Then it's worth it.

Melanie Suzanne Wilson (33:43)

Absolutely. That's why everybody should be doing something like this. To the listeners out there, I actually want to show more people how easy it is to show up in the form that feels right. I like the longer conversations like this. I love talking to people like you. And the podcast, though, although it takes a few tools, it's so easy to put a podcast out.

I took so long. I mean, it's easier now.

Renee Borgelt (34:15)

Well, look at me. I didn't even know how to do a TikTok, you know, but you just you figure it out as you go, you know.

Melanie Suzanne Wilson (34:15)

No, I think so. Have you been in other podcast episodes aside from this one?

Renee Borgelt (34:27)

I have a good friend who talks about serious things like suicide. So we kind of touched on that once with her about a year and a half ago. But otherwise, you're my first.

Melanie Suzanne Wilson (34:38)

That's awesome. I'm so glad for that. And you can go on so many others. I don't know if you found me on threads, but I get so many people on threads and you know, there are podcasts out there, but the reason why everybody should share their stories and, create space for storytelling is because everybody has an experience.

That's an example that we can learn from. And what you said today goes so much deeper and is so much more tangible than just reading a textbook.

Renee Borgelt (35:10)

Yes.

Right. And I love how you said that everybody has an experience because you know, maybe something that I say doesn't resonate, but something you says to somebody will, right? Because of how somebody else says it, or they resonate with their personality. So just because I'm doing it doesn't mean that somebody else shouldn't be doing it too. Right. Because I'm going to have people resonate with me, and they'll have people that resonate with them. So share your voice anyway. Right.

Melanie Suzanne Wilson (35:49)

And you never know who you will reach. Where exactly are you, somewhere in America, I trust.

Renee Borgelt (35:56)

Right now I'm in Iowa. I'm sitting in Iowa at the moment. It's not my favourite place, but you know, I'm starting over. I'm learning how to put my life back together.

Melanie Suzanne Wilson (36:05)

I know the feeling a lot, and I feel so inspired by you, even though you are where you are, you trust that you can start over and see where that leads. Are you trusting in the unknown a bit and saying it could end up wherever it ends up?

Renee Borgelt (36:23)

I just know, and I guess I hadn't told you that part. I've had visions of my future, so I kind of have an idea where I'm going. You know, they don't tell me everything, but I have an idea where I'm going. But yes, I've just learned, I learned to stop having that tug, right? That tug of war with the divine God, universe, whatever it is that you believe, right? I stopped having that tug of war because, you know, like I said, I dragged my feet and I dragged my feet, and then they're like, and then I ended up doing it anyway, you know? And I wouldn't even be here where I'm at with my followers, and you know, I don't even think of them as followers. A lot of them are my family, right? Like I talk to them on a daily basis, and we message, and you know, but I wouldn't have that had I not listened, right? Had I not just went with the flow. And so that's kind of where I'm at, you know? I honestly, I just wait for that next step.

And I just actually, the reason why I came back to, I'm in Iowa, is because this is where my husband passed, and I had one piece of my healing journey that was left. And I was struggling really bad with PTSD and flashbacks of that day. And my guide said, "You have to go back and do full-circle healing.” And so I came back and I literally walked back through that day and, like I tell everybody you have to feel it to heal it and that's not sadly That's why a lot of people don't heal is because they don't want to feel that again, you know But you do you have to like I say all the time you have to walk through that storm and You know, you don't get the rainbow without the storm usually or the rain, right? And so I came back, and I walked through that healing, and my flashbacks are better

They actually, my guides actually replaced the flashback with another vision for me of him. And I had a complete piece come over me that I've never had in my entire life. And it was the moment I've never had. And ⁓ now I'm, you know, I'm like, okay, I'm ready to open that next door. I'm ready to start that next chapter, finally. So that's why I'm here.

Melanie Suzanne Wilson (38:40)

I asked earlier about making peace with the new reality, and it sounds like part of how you did that was going back to where everything happened and not avoiding it.

Renee Borgelt (38:58)

Yes, that's extremely important. I talk about that a lot, you know, when you're avoiding it, you're shoving it under a rug, basically, so to speak. And I tell people, you know, you can shove it under the rug for so long, but eventually you're going to trip over that rug. You know, and that was in a way I was avoiding that part of it because, you know, I wasn't sure how I was going to heal that part, right? Like, how do you replace what you've seen?

You know, and I came back and like I said, I walked through that. That was a crucial part of my healing. And it was crazy because two days after I walked through that, I was sitting here and I said, OK, you brought me back to do this. And I did it. So what's the next step? And then, you know, that next step is just appearing. And like I said, I just have faith, and I go with what they tell me. And I.

I just wait for the next step. I don't look towards what, I know what the future is gonna hold a little bit, like I said, and I know what I want it to hold, but I also know that it's not my plan. And I just take it day by day. And one of the other lessons I learned is just being present, right? Being grateful and present in the moment each day. Yesterday's gone, we can't redo it, and tomorrow's not here yet. So just be present and be grateful and find your joy today. And whatever tomorrow brings, tomorrow brings.

Melanie Suzanne Wilson (40:31)

Tomorrow will be what it will be. What are any final words of wisdom that anyone who is listening needs to keep in mind? And before you answer that question, do want to add the disclaimer. I think, okay, I will definitely add a few things in the notes because this is a deep topic, and AI will help me to put the right things in about where people can go if they need help. In Australia, people normally say call Lifeline. So in that sense, is there anything that where you are, people should do if they think they need help?

Renee Borgelt (41:15)

Just reach out to somebody. That's my thing, right? Just anybody, anybody, if you know if you're struggling, find somebody there, somebody will listen, right? You know I have I have a guy on my TikTok here, a couple of months ago, that he had lost his wife, and he was struggling, and I spent the whole hour just talking to him and telling him that you know, his life was important, and you know, and one of the other big takeaways is, you know, mean what you say, right? So if you tell somebody, you know, I had a lot of people tell me when my husband passed, you know, hey, if you need somebody, reach out. And I actually did that. And that's hard for me because I'm not one of those people that, you know, like to ask for help. And I did reach out to two people, you know, and they kind of were like, like, what are you reaching out to me for? You know, and so

Mean what you say. know, if you tell somebody, hey, I'm here for you, mean it. Right. That's really important.

Melanie Suzanne Wilson (42:18)

I agree. I agree. And there's a potential for a balance in this. I know that people feel overwhelmed. People have a lot happening in life, but we need to be there if someone needs to turn to someone in the moment, if it reaches that point, and it's crucial.

Renee Borgelt (42:41)

It is crucial.

Melanie Suzanne Wilson (42:43)

It is, it is. So sure, be overwhelmed. Sure. But show up for people anyway, because it could be necessary.

Renee Borgelt (42:55)

Well, and here's the thing, you don't have to, you I'm not saying you have to get on TikTok like me every night. You know what I mean? Showing up can be opening the door for somebody, you know, giving somebody a smile. And those first couple of weeks when I lost my husband, you know, I could have fallen apart at the drop of a hat, you know, standing in line at the grocery store, and just a smile from somebody meant a lot to me at that time, right? Saying hello to the cashier or giving somebody a compliment. Somebody could be having the worst day of their life, and you don't know it, and you say, " Your hair looks really pretty today. That could be their lifeline. You never know what somebody's going through. Just a small act of kindness goes a long way.

Melanie Suzanne Wilson (43:41)

It really does. Renee, thank you for sharing your truth.

Renee Borgelt (43:46)

Thank you for having me. I appreciate it.

Melanie Suzanne Wilson (43:48)

It has been such a gift and a privilege to create space for such an honest, real story. I appreciate how you have put the time in, and you shared details about an experience that was not easy, and how you are finding your next chapter afterwards. And I wanted to congratulate you for that.

Renee Borgelt (44:15)

Thank you so much.