Aakriti Transcript 

Aakriti (At Peace. A (00:00)

It's Akriti.

Perfectly, baby.

Melanie Suzanne Wilson (00:05)

How do you explain to everybody, first of all, what exactly you do?

Aakriti (At Peace. A (00:10)

Okay, I have a long list of that, but okay, let's give it a try. So, I'm a rehabilitation psychologist. I'm a counselling psychologist. I'm a career counsellor. I'm an art therapist. I'm a guest lecturer. I have my own do-do business also on the side but my basic work is with psychology. I've been in this since now six years it has been since I've been in psychology and yeah.

Melanie Suzanne Wilson (00:12)

We'll come back.

Aakriti (At Peace. A (00:39)

I've been a psychologist for 6 years now,

Melanie Suzanne Wilson (00:39)

What general psychology do you specialise in, anything in particular?

Aakriti (At Peace. A (00:46)

This is the counselling one. We deal with adolescents. It's basically anxiety, addiction and any kind. The rehab ones, yes, that is the rehab one that is the main. That is what I'm doing right now. We are doing a vocational rehab thing where we bring in the kids with special needs, the autism, the ADHD ones. We teach them life skills, and they learn to on through it. That is what we're doing currently.

Melanie Suzanne Wilson (00:58)

Are you working with extreme special needs?

Aakriti (At Peace. A (01:18)

No, exchange station needs as of now.

Melanie Suzanne Wilson (01:22)

Okay, so low-level special needs with high functioning in life.

Aakriti (At Peace. A (01:28)

Right, the people who can be trained for what they can do in life, so that they can be independent basically. That's our main motto to make them independent somehow.

Melanie Suzanne Wilson (01:40)

Right, right. So they can aim for independence. That's great. What led you to want to focus on this specialty?

Aakriti (At Peace. A (01:49)

Okay, so I was like completely ill at a point of time when I was 18. I was on my bed like completely on bed rest. couldn't move. My left half was paralysed due to some wrong medications that happened. I particularly have, sorry.

I was given some wrong medications that led to my left side getting paralysed like completely. I wasn't able to move it at all, so it yeah I wasn't well at that time

Melanie Suzanne Wilson (02:17)

Are you saying you were okay, and then you got the wrong medication, and then your left side went paralysed?

Aakriti (At Peace. A (02:28)

Yeah, that happened with me. So it took four years.

Melanie Suzanne Wilson (02:31)

My goodness!

Remind everybody,

Sorry, remind everybody how old were you when this happened?

Aakriti (At Peace. A (02:40)

Sorry?

Melanie Suzanne Wilson (02:41)

How old were you when you became parallel? What a way to start adulthood.

Aakriti (At Peace. A (02:43)

I was 18. 18.

What a way to start college, was in the first year of college at that time. So that got disrupted completely, life was a complete mess. I couldn't get what I was going into, what was going around me. Depression, anxiety, all of that came along with it. So yeah, that was a bad phase basically. It took me four years to get out of it. Somehow, the psychological part, it took me four years, and then I had to go through surgery for my left leg

Melanie Suzanne Wilson (03:00)

So you took what four years, did you say?

Aakriti (At Peace. A (03:14)

Okay, okay.

Yeah, four years to get better psychologically.

Melanie Suzanne Wilson (03:19)

Did that mean you were looking for confidence and faith in your abilities? Was it the overcoming of the depression?

Aakriti (At Peace. A (03:31)

Both you can say overcoming the depression and getting my confidence back, because I lost it completely when this happened. know, being a chirpy girl who's just going around anywhere she wants to, and now she's dependent on someone, especially my family, my parents. had to be, like even for the washroom, I had to tell my mother, me to the washroom. That was the condition at that time. So, we did become that bad.

Melanie Suzanne Wilson (03:54)

U.S. Tourism Administration don't know what the age is for adulthood in your country, but here, where I am in Australia, people become independent adults, at least officially at 18, and you are becoming the opposite of independent at that age.

Aakriti (At Peace. A (04:00)

Your team.

True that. True that. Yes. Yes. That is what it was.

Melanie Suzanne Wilson (04:20)

How did you make peace with that change?

Aakriti (At Peace. A (04:25)

At that time, psychology was a completely alien topic to me, honestly. I never even had heard about it. This all happened in 2008. Psychology wasn't a great term at that time. So we were like, okay, let's try to understand what was going on with me. I met my therapist. She made me

I wanted to understand how it all works, but I wasn't ready to give in. I was like, no, can't, I am not able to accept it as of now. But she was very patient with me. She sat with me throughout. She gave me complete four to five years. She was with me throughout through thick and thin. She was there with me all the time. And she was the one who basically got me out of it. I still call her my angel for that reason.

Melanie Suzanne Wilson (05:10)

Does this mean you were trying to figure out what had even happened?

Aakriti (At Peace. A (05:18)

So we figured out almost in six months, but the thing wasn't going away. The paralysis part wasn't going away. I was still on bed. I couldn't walk. I couldn't do anything on my own. Even dressing was my mom's thing. She used to dress me up, and everything was, I was completely dependent. Like I couldn't do even one thing by myself. Only the college work is what I could do by myself. Nothing else.

Melanie Suzanne Wilson (05:44)

So, for at least half a year of not being able to live independently, he didn't even know why.

Aakriti (At Peace. A (05:53)

Yes, I was completely clueless what was happening around me. Completely clueless.

Melanie Suzanne Wilson (06:00)

Did you feel scared?

Aakriti (At Peace. A (06:02)

Very scared. was just crying all the time. I didn't know what to do with my life. I wasn't even sure I was going to live through it. I was like, no, I don't even want to live like this.

Melanie Suzanne Wilson (06:04)

Wow, what brought you out of that darkness?

Aakriti (At Peace. A (06:17)

I believe it could be my family, first of all, they were very, very supportive, very understanding. They were the first ones who were basically there for me. They were like, no, you will get better. We are there to support you. Especially my father, he was very, very positive about it. He was very sure we will get out of it. And he's still there. He's still like that, that you will get out of it completely. I'm still not out of it. I still have still need support to walk sometimes.

Melanie Suzanne Wilson (06:39)

Aakriti (At Peace. A (06:45)

And whenever I get a bit anxious, starts twitching. So you can see that the paralysis part comes back somehow.

Melanie Suzanne Wilson (06:50)

You get anxious and stressed.

Aakriti (At Peace. A (06:54)

Whenever I am stressed, this part again starts twitching; my left hand won't function properly. It is still, the residual part is still there, it hasn't completely gone away. But I'm still in therapy, and they say it will leave in a few years now. So just waiting. It has been 18 years, and we're still working on it.

Melanie Suzanne Wilson (07:12)

18 years.

You're saying that over time, everything should ease gradually so you can feel a bit, but not much.

Aakriti (At Peace. A (07:23)

Yes, it is going away. won't say it is still that troublesome. I do my whole work by myself. That is a big achievement for me right now. I can do everything in my room. I can even cook sometimes. I do like to cook. can even cook. That is a big achievement for me. At least I have a life skill with me that will keep me alive. But yeah, I still need help.

Melanie Suzanne Wilson (07:48)

Cooking is so important because you can help yourself to feel healthy and get energy with the right foods, and you can feel some control over what you are eating when you know what goes into your food.

Aakriti (At Peace. A (08:05)

True, true. It also involves feeding the family. like to, like, they have been through so much along with me. So I like to do something for them in return. So that is my way. I like to sometimes cook something for them so that they can also enjoy. They can also feel I'm there for them. So they're going over now. So I have to take care of them, is what I realised. So I have to get better for that too, not just for myself.

Melanie Suzanne Wilson (08:28)

Yep.

For your family.

Aakriti (At Peace. A (08:31)

Yes.

Melanie Suzanne Wilson (08:32)

It's a great feeling of being useful, and also, some people say that we can live longer when we eat with other people instead of in isolation.

Aakriti (At Peace. A (08:41)

Yes.

That happens, is a chemical thing that happens in the brain. Call it chemical imbalance or chemical balance, whatever you call it. Yeah, it happens whenever you are with your family or you’re eating with anyone for that matter. That gives you more happiness, that would give you a satiety, feeling of satiety very soon. I give that to my clients also that you should eat with someone. I know you are not feeling well. Even when I was depressed, I won't eat with anyone.

You need to force yourself for that, for at least one meal a day with someone, at least. So that girl that does help them, yeah. I give that out to my clientele.

Melanie Suzanne Wilson (09:22)

Do you ever see that your clients just have the option of eating in a public space around other people instead of eating alone in isolation? Do you find that that's a step in a good direction?

Aakriti (At Peace. A (09:37)

That is for some; some are like very, very introverted. They won't, they are not very confident in public. They don't feel like eating in public. I am also one of them. I am, I don't eat at marriages at all. I can't eat with so many people around me which is a problem with me, I guess. But yeah, that depends on the person basically.

Melanie Suzanne Wilson (09:57)

So essentially, do you think we should either feast with our families or our unofficial chosen families that could be friends or a community?

Aakriti (At Peace. A (10:10)

I'm sorry I didn't get the question.

Melanie Suzanne Wilson (10:12)

Should we... are you saying we should eat with family or community or friends?

Aakriti (At Peace. A (10:20)

We should, at least one meal a day should be with someone. Rest, you can have it on your own, but at least one meal a day should be with someone. Especially breakfast, for that matter, that's how you begin your day, but yeah, otherwise also it's okay.

Melanie Suzanne Wilson (10:33)

What difference have you seen? What change have you seen when people do this?

Aakriti (At Peace. A (10:39)

The feeling of loneliness that we are seeing nowadays, people are being too much involved in their phones and the social media is what is engrossing them a lot, it keeps them busy but the feeling of having a person, a physical person in front of you that gives you a feeling of having someone, not the loneliness, the loneliness feelings, it just goes away somehow.

Plus, social media is causing many problems. The addiction is the thing that we are seeing right now in my clinic. have seen a lot of kids. The virtual autism thing is coming up. Kids are getting addicted to phones, 2 or 3 year olds and they go to show symptoms of autism. Perfectly fine kids. But they got addicted to the screen and now they showing signs of autism. So that also happened. That is a reversible thing, but still, that is there.

When we see kids with addictions, social media, yeah. Social media is causing a lot of problems, too. It is there for a benefit, but we are not using it for a benefit. When we are at it, it problems all around. So that is something I tell them: keep your phone down. That's what I do. If I am with my family, no phones in the room. I have made it a strict rule, if you come to my room, no phones in my room. You have to talk to me. You can watch the TV, but no phones in my room. So no one is allowed to see phones in my room.

Melanie Suzanne Wilson (12:05)

That you can see some social benefit from some things we do on the phone. I know this podcast recording is sharing your story with people anywhere. However, it sounds like we also need to remember to see people in person or gather together.

Aakriti (At Peace. A (12:26)

That is the necessity, that is how we get out of that shell that we have created around us. And that is, we have a bubble around us that tells us, no you are alone, you don't have anyone, you don't know how to ask for help, you have lost all your social skills. But having someone around will give you that confidence, okay? No, you have someone you can rely on, you can give a call to someone, and someone will be there for you.

Now that gives a sense of you being, a sense of having someone around is just a sense of happiness I feel. For some, it is, for some, it isn't, but that again depends on the person. But yeah, having someone would actually give you a sense of happiness is what I feel.

Melanie Suzanne Wilson (13:09)

Do you find that generally, for happiness and survival, people need to know that someone out there is wondering if they are okay?

Aakriti (At Peace. A (13:20)

Wondering if they're okay, I'm not sure, but someone out there is there for them. Just, you know, knowing that you have someone you can rely on. That would do the task.

Melanie Suzanne Wilson (13:21)

Someone to turn to.

So someone to turn to when you need it.

Aakriti (At Peace. A (13:34)

Exactly. You have someone; if you fall, there will be someone who will hold you up.

Melanie Suzanne Wilson (13:40)

To hold you up, that's a great way to put it. And a question there, I know that people get burned out, people get tired and busy. I'm wondering how can we hold up the people around us without feeling too busy and tired, or without doing too much, doing more than we can fit in our day.

Aakriti (At Peace. A (14:10)

So we teach boundaries, I have been teaching that a lot to my clients. Boundaries are something you need to learn. You need to learn how and when to create it. I won't say stay in the boundaries forever. It can be permeable for someone; it could be a normal, big boundary for someone, but you need to have a boundary. You need to have emotional regulation for that part.

When you regulate yourself emotionally, you are a healthy dietitian, then you can take care of someone. When you are not healthy, you can't take care of anyone. If you are burnt out,

Melanie Suzanne Wilson (14:42)

Just remember, so we need a boundary.

Aakriti (At Peace. A (14:46)

Yes, you need to have boundaries because that is how you take care of yourself. Self-love is the thing that comes here. When you can't take care of yourself, you won't be able to take care of anyone around you. If I'm emotionally burnt out, a client comes to me, I won't be able to take care of them like I would have normally. So I, on the days that I'm not well, I avoid taking clients, as you know, I am not well, I won't be taking any clients today cause I don't feel fine. That is how it should be, I believe

Melanie Suzanne Wilson (15:18)

Does that mean it's okay for professionals to say, I need to cancel a few things occasionally if I am suddenly feeling not quite okay?

Aakriti (At Peace. A (15:33)

Yes, you can say that I usually take my appointments in the morning. So that is how I know if I'm not going to cancel out on anyone. Yes, if that happens, cancelling, we don't feel good. We don't feel good while cancelling on someone because we know the person is having trouble. That is the reason they're coming to us. And if we also cancel out on them, then what is going to happen with that person? We have to take care of them, too.

If I am not able to give my 100%, then what is the point of them coming to me, seeking for help or seeking for solutions? What is the point then? If I am not giving my 100 %?

Melanie Suzanne Wilson (16:15)

I'm like,

I apologise so much. Yes, go for it. Tell us more because I think that some of us show up when we are feeling empty, and you're saying you need to refill your cell and you need to have what you need to be able to give and provide help.

Aakriti (At Peace. A (16:43)

True, true. Yes. You can't pour from an empty cup is a famous saying there, and that applies to almost every one of us. Especially us in the healthcare professions. That has to be a thing. We can't take care of anyone when we are not well. Even for my family, even for my mother, say that if you are not feeling well, how are you going to take care of us? Please take care of yourself first. That is how you will take care of us. Because she is the one taking care of the whole family. She has to be well, for that matter.

If she lies on bed, the whole family would be shaken. I know she's a pillar of the family. So that is why I always preach self-love to every lady out there, especially in India that happens. Females here forget about self, they are just about the family, about the people, about the person with them, but they don't think about themselves. That is why I have that boundary part. I teach them emotion regulation. The self-love thing is...

I can call it preaching. I am kind of preaching it to everyone out there. They not teaching but I like to preach it to every person out there. That is me. That is how I have been well throughout the years. That is how I have gone out of my shell, not being well. So now I can proudly say I am getting better. I am not perfectly fine, but I am getting better every day because I know what gets me better. So, emotional regulation has to be there.

And sometimes when you are feeling like, okay, I don't think I can do this. You still have to take in the client cause cancelling out on them isn't something that is doable on a particular day. You can't cancel out on someone as randomly. You need to take time for that. We give them a 24-hour car notice period before they cancel on us. So we also have that thing in us that we have to take 24 hours at least before cancelling out on them.

So we have to be mindful about that too. If I have a session with you tomorrow, I have to be mindful that I have to take care of myself today. So I don't have to cancel out on you tomorrow. That is something we have to keep in mind so that we don't have to cancel out on anyone, for that matter.

Melanie Suzanne Wilson (18:58)

That right there is the importance of self-care. We have to prepare to be well.

Aakriti (At Peace. A (19:05)

Go. Go.

Melanie Suzanne Wilson (19:07)

That is so crucial, and it's going back to basics. I can tell you some organisations have been asking lately, how can people be well? And it sounds like a part of this is through setting up the habits, but also preparing when you know more things will be happening, allow yourself the time leading up to it.

Aakriti (At Peace. A (19:31)

Hmm.

True, yes. If I know I have like I have three appointments today. So yesterday I was on off, I was taking care of myself, working on my things, but not seeing clients per se. That is how I prepared for myself. I have three appointments in the day today. Like three different appointments, different meetings. I don't have clients, but I meetings today. So I prepared for it yesterday, and I didn't take any clients yesterday.

I booked for Thursday and Friday, but not for Wednesday. That is what I did.

Melanie Suzanne Wilson (20:05)

Clients and podcast recording.

Aakriti (At Peace. A (20:07)

I like to multitask, that is me, I guess. I like to multitask, I like to do everything that I can do. That is why I have a Jholi business too with me. I like to make Jholi by hand, that is what I do there. So yeah, that is my therapy, I guess.

Melanie Suzanne Wilson (20:22)

It's wonderful having these conversations on the show and exploring what we need and how we can solve things. I find that it's just a great sense of community, and it's therapeutic for us as creators. I agree with you. Have you been on any other podcasts?

Aakriti (At Peace. A (20:41)

So it is.

Yes, I've been on two before this. Both in India, but I've been on two before this. One is on Spotify, and one is on YouTube right now. So yeah.

Melanie Suzanne Wilson (20:55)

Right. So this is your first one outside of India.

Aakriti (At Peace. A (21:00)

Yes, yes, that is the first one. Yeah.

Melanie Suzanne Wilson (21:03)

Awesome. And what I'm curious, so you're sharing your truth and you're being brave in sharing your experience about your health and your work. Have you seen that it is helping you in sharing your truth with the world?

Aakriti (At Peace. A (21:29)

Yes, I believe it gives out a story of resilience to people. can see, if this person who has been through so much can do this, then why can't I? So that is what I have heard from my clients. Okay, we have seen you, and we feel that we have nothing in front of us. Not comparing, personally, I don't say compare your problems with mine. Not a fair way to deal with it because you might have bigger problems which are not showing up yet, but mine is visible because it is physical. Yours might not be, since it's psychological. It might not be visible to people. But still, I'm not saying compare it. But the story of resilience is what I hear people love. And even my clients, my family, they all told me to write a book about it. But me being Ganesh, I don't write anything. But they want me to write a book about it. It will inspire more people out there.

Melanie Suzanne Wilson (22:24)

I think you should write a book about your experience, and did you say that you were 18 around 2008?

Aakriti (At Peace. A (22:31)

Yes.

Melanie Suzanne Wilson (22:32)

You are pretty close to my age. And I was going to say that earlier. I'm really close to your age. And so it's sinking in so much for me that I know life can feel so long after this much adulthood. And what I'm learning from your story is that we take for granted what we do have. Seriously.

Aakriti (At Peace. A (22:57)

True, yes, that happens. Now, if I talk to someone and they're like, okay, but you know, this happened with me, I say, okay, that is your problem, that is what you're going through, but you will come out of it. But don't forget to say your gratitude, because you might have something that the other person might not have. You at least have access to therapy; some people don't even have that. For example, if you have a problem with your family for some matter, they never had that exposure to therapy, weren't, you know, they didn't have this option of therapy when they were young. But you have it. Your blessings, for that matter. Say gratitude that you have that thing that you can talk to someone you can understand, and you can, you know, get better in life. They didn't have that option.

Melanie Suzanne Wilson (23:43)

Even in lots of locations, there's so much access to therapy now. Over here, some services are covered by public insurance, but also there are online therapies that you can access anywhere. And have you found that therapy is so much more accessible than it used to be?

Aakriti (At Peace. A (24:01)

Hmm.

Honestly, yes, when I was not well, and I was trying to find a therapist for myself, it took me around a year to like have a therapist, like find a therapist who could treat me okay. See, she left the country after five years, and she's not in the country right now. When she was handing me over to someone else, we again had that problem. Again, it took me time to find a therapist who could like actually understand my condition because I was out of it now, but I still needed therapy somehow.

I was out of bed-reading version, but still, I needed some kind of therapy. Still, there was something residual in me. Again, it took me years to find a good therapist for myself. Now she left the job after that. Now, the third time, when I had to look for a therapist and now I am a therapist myself, it becomes all the more difficult. Since I have access, most of them are my colleagues or friends. Now I am stuck. What do I do?

Melanie Suzanne Wilson (24:39)

Yeah.

Aakriti (At Peace. A (25:06)

So it took me a lot of time. It took me a lot of time to find a therapist. Now I have found a therapist for myself. Almost after 6 or 7 years, I could find a therapist for myself. It took me 6 to 7 years to find a therapist. I have been on and off with therapy. I have been trying to find a therapist, but I couldn't. I feel miserably at that. So finally I found a therapist. Now that is after about 6 years, and I have just had one session with her, but I feel better already.

So I know this one is meant to be for me. Finding a therapist and finding a therapist who fits your condition is the thing here. Like, who understands, yes.

Melanie Suzanne Wilson (25:48)

Are you saying it's okay to look for the right person instead of just anyone?

Aakriti (At Peace. A (25:54)

True, you have to find the right person for that matter. Yes, that would be a correct word. Not saying fit, but yeah. Finding a correct therapist who you feel a vibe with when you talk to them. That is what I personally feel. I don't feel vibes with someone, and I say no, this isn't going to work, because I know I'm not feeling that with you. I don't feel that peace of safety. I don't feel that peace while I'm talking to you. So that won't lead to a good therapy session, that is what I realised so as I say go for a therapist who you feel at peace with that is why I have the name at peace artist that is the reason I have my pages name at peace artist. That is my brand, that is why I came up with it

Melanie Suzanne Wilson (26:38)

I'm so keen to ask also as a therapist and as someone who goes to therapy, I'm curious, do you see that it's important to even simply have someone to talk to at all?

just to talk to someone.

Aakriti (At Peace. A (26:53)

It is very important to have someone to talk to. I feel if after I have had a very hard or very heavy therapy session, call it maybe for grief counselling or trauma counselling, at that point of time I would need someone to talk to. I don't need to share the details with them. Just a 15-minute break with someone, could just chit chat and could come back to my room. That gives me lot of power back.

Although I have talked a lot in this session, I am tired from talking, but I still need that kind of interaction, that kind of conversation to happen. So that I can feel myself again for the next client. have to be prepared for them too. So I feel yes, it is very very important to have someone to talk to. And the person has to be someone with matching with your EQ. Otherwise, you will go crazy again.

Melanie Suzanne Wilson (27:42)

The right emotional intelligence… is that what you're saying?

Aakriti (At Peace. A (27:46)

Yes, yes, exactly.

Melanie Suzanne Wilson (27:48)

That's crucial. I'm wondering how can we, when we are leading a wellness space or a health space, how can we let ourselves be flawed when still showing strength and courage at the same time?

Aakriti (At Peace. A (28:10)

I didn't get it right, I'm sorry.

Melanie Suzanne Wilson (28:11)

Okay, so when we are leading health spaces, how can we let ourselves be not perfect when still showing courage and being brave at the same time?

Aakriti (At Peace. A (28:17)

Hmm?

I feel that's human, right? That is what human beings are. We don't have to be perfect. We have to be good humans. That's all that matters in a therapy room or in a therapy space. matters. I... Initially, I was like, what do people think when they see me walking with someone, walking with the help of someone? Because that's what I do. I get scared while walking alone because of the surgery that happened with me. So I need someone to hold my hand. Initially, I was very, very sceptical. How would...

The clients feel that their client, their therapist, is not perfect themselves. How would they feel? But later on, I realised I don't have to be that person for them. I have to be a therapist in the room. I have to be a different person in the room. When I am sitting with them, I am there as a therapist. I am a human being. I can have my flaws, but they are all outside the room. Inside the room, I am a human being sitting with them, trying to provide them a completely judgment-free space, trying to be their empathetic partner there, then. So yeah, initially I was very, very sceptical. But now I know I am a human being, I can make mistakes, I can have regrets, I can have anything and everything that they have. But in that room, I had to be very, very true to myself and true to the client. That is that all that matters is what I believe. That is what is important.

Melanie Suzanne Wilson (29:49)

Yes.

Were you feeling your perfectionism when you wanted someone to hold your hand and are you saying you wanted a bit of help to walk steady and you had to feel confident and know you are great despite needing help?

Aakriti (At Peace. A (30:11)

Hmm?

Yes, I would say yes. My perfectionism has been there since I was a child. I know that for myself. I don't know how you came to know about it, but that was me when I was a child. I needed everything at that particular time in that particular order. That was me when I was a child. But it all got disrupted because of this thing. Because now it was my mother who was doing things for me. So it all got disrupted. So every, every, what do you call it?

I don't remember the word, but every thought, every stupid thought that I had, that if this doesn't happen in this way, it would lead to something bad. That was how I used to be when I was 18 years old. But all that broke due to all this, so I'm happy about it. The myths that I had, that they all just broke away somehow in therapy rooms and after therapy rooms also. The perfectionism thing was there.

I guess it is still there to some extent, but now it's not hurting me or anyone. Initially, it was hurting everyone around me, including me. Because that is how I needed things to be. Now I'm like, okay, if they're not going this way, they'll go that way. We'll have a plan B, we'll have a plan C. have 26 alphabets for a reason. We can have plan Z also. That is how it can be. Now it is okay to make mistakes, to fall down. It is okay.

I have to go with the flow, have to understand how things work. I don't have to be a perfect person. Otherwise, I would be a god, for that matter. I am a human being. I am happy being a human being.

Melanie Suzanne Wilson (31:47)

It sounds like you're saying that as human being, we can't control everything. And it sounds like even before your health changed, were, so even before your health changed, you were wanting everything to be perfect. Am I, no? After? Yes, that was right. So you wanted things to be perfect. Even after, sorry, even before

Aakriti (At Peace. A (32:08)

Yes, yes, exactly. Exactly.

Melanie Suzanne Wilson (32:16)

Your health changed from an early age, and it sounds like I'm guessing a health change would teach you the lesson that you can't control everything.

Aakriti (At Peace. A (32:25)

That's what happened, and that makes me happy now. Initially, it was very, very depressing, but now I'm happy about it. That is how I was taught, and I'm okay about it. That is how I had to learn this thing. But I learned something good out of it. That makes me happy. Okay, this happened, but it taught me something good in life. It gave me much more than it took away. I'm okay with that. I'm completely fine with it now. I've made my peace, basically, is what I believe.

Melanie Suzanne Wilson (32:52)

You made peace. gave you lessons. It gave you wisdom.

Aakriti (At Peace. A (32:59)

It did. And this is what made me change my course in life. It made me switch the career that I was in. I was into a leading design college in my graduation. Yes. And I switched to psychology in my master's. I did clinical psychology in my master's. So that helped me make a switch. Because I understood the condition of mental health in the country, I could see what is going on.

I could see that I couldn't find a therapist myself. So I said, no, I have to do something that another girl doesn't face a problem like this. There isn't another Akriti for that reason is what I say. I didn't want there to be another Akriti suffering from all this. Let's get into the field and let's understand what happens inside the field. So that even if I'm able to help a person, even if one person I'm able to help, I've done my need.

I've lived my life, I'm okay with it, I've made peace with it again. So, yeah.

Melanie Suzanne Wilson (34:00)

amazing. You are inspiring people even more than I realised because we're all going to lose something at some point. We go through grief, we have an injury. For me, I broke my leg years ago, and I took years to recover, but I can walk around now, and I can tell you that I was losing other things

Aakriti (At Peace. A (34:09)

Yes.

Melanie Suzanne Wilson (34:29)

More recently, and what I'm seeing from you is that we do lose things and then we gain things, and we're not going to have control over all of that.

Aakriti (At Peace. A (34:42)

Trying to control would make us even more crazy, more anxious, even more depressed when things don't go our way. So why try to do that? Yes, some things are needed to be controlled. That is okay. But we have to also learn the art of letting go. We have to let go. Some things, at least in life. Not everything is going to go according to our plan. I had a great plan when I was 17, 16. I had like a long list of plans. What I'm going to do with my life.

Melanie Suzanne Wilson (34:59)

Letting go.

Aakriti (At Peace. A (35:11)

It took a complete 360 there. I don't know what happened then, and the switch has been quite a major switch to be honest. Not even a smaller one. It has been a major switch. I was supposed to get my 26 according to my list. I'm 36 and still single. So... Yeah.

Melanie Suzanne Wilson (35:31)

So you made a list before the health change. Are you saying that you wanted to be married by a particular age? Did I hear that right?

Aakriti (At Peace. A (35:35)

Yes, I have the complete list.

Yes, yes that was my plan when I was 16, okay? This is the age I'll have my career, like I might have made my career, and this is the age that I plan to marry. That was my plan when I was 16. I'll make plans for next 10 years.

Melanie Suzanne Wilson (36:00)

You say you are 36 now, we are close enough to the same age, and it's nice to, and by the way, for those listening on audio, we are both wearing blue, and it's reassuring to, this is what I love about the podcast. I'm in Australia, you're in India, right? And we can say, okay, at this age, you don't know what's going to happen. And all you can do is make

Aakriti (At Peace. A (36:11)

Yeah.

Melanie Suzanne Wilson (36:27)

Peace with how unpredictable life is.

Aakriti (At Peace. A (36:31)

I still can't make a plan. Now I'm a bit afraid of making plans. I'm like, okay, let us see whatever comes. We'll go according to that. We're not making any plans now. So my father said you should think about marriage when you're 35. I said, okay, let's think about it now. The thinking process has started somehow, but no plans as of now. I'm just happy being in the family. I'm just happy being here in my mother's house. I'm happy with that right now.

Melanie Suzanne Wilson (37:00)

Okay. To get nearer the end of the conversation, I like to find some wisdom that everybody can learn from. Some big truths. And do you have three lessons that everybody needs to learn or do after this? It could be as simple as gratitude, just any concept.

Aakriti (At Peace. A (37:07)

Hmm.

Hmm?

Melanie Suzanne Wilson (37:28)

anything that everybody needs to remember to be okay.

Aakriti (At Peace. A (37:32)

The first and the major one here I would like to talk about is self-love. We talked about, and I still would like to talk about, because I believe people still lack in that part. They still not okay with the self-love part. They feel it is being greedy, being selfish. But self-love is not selfish is the line that we give here. Self-love will never be selfish. You have to take care of yourself to take care of others around you. The first would be that.

Second, believe having gratitude is very, very important. We never know having gratitude is something that is very important in life. Yes, we don't know what the other person is going through. We have to be kind to them, and we have to be grateful that we are not going through something major. The thing that we have is okay and is manageable, yet. If it is not manageable, go talk to a therapist, but if it is manageable, let it be with you.

Let yourself be through it. Try to go through it and try to understand what happened, how it happened and how you have come over it. So that gives you a life lesson to move on in life, making peace with it. The third one is going to be a bit difficult, that's to think about it.

Melanie Suzanne Wilson (38:49)

Okay, what's one thing you wish you knew when you were little?

Aakriti (At Peace. A (38:54)

Not having plans is the best way to live. Nothing in life needs perfection. To err is human, is what I have kept in front of me right now. To err is human. You are a human being; you are going to make mistakes. Forgive yourself. Learn to forgive yourself. The third one came out. You have to learn to forgive yourself. Yes. Practice forgiveness for others and for yourself, too.

Melanie Suzanne Wilson (38:56)

What happened?

Aakriti (At Peace. A (39:21)

That takes away the burden to a great extent when you sleep at night. When you learn to forgive others along with yourself. I wasn't able to do this. I'm a bad person. No, that is how you learn to forgive yourself. That is why self-love is important again. yeah. The third one also came out, and we have a lesson. Yeah. Sorry.

Melanie Suzanne Wilson (39:41)

Forgive yourself and others.

They are great lessons. Crete, thank you so much for sharing your truth. And beyond these three lessons, one other thing I wanted to check is if someone does get a big surprise with their health, how can they return to their confidence?

Aakriti (At Peace. A (40:08)

Okay. For that, I would say don't hesitate in asking for help is the first thing is when you ask for help, you have people around you, then the confidence somehow gets restored. Plus, don't start blaming. Don't look for reasons out there when you're in, you have gotten a very big shock or surprise, as you call it, with your head. Don't try to look for what you did, what could be going wrong. Look for what could you

What could you do with your life now? What could be your future now? Not going in the past, going for the future. And the third one would be having as many positive people around you. Now, positive is what I'm putting the weight on. Positive is what you need to find back your confidence. If you would have negative people, you'll have only criticism and that won't let you have back your confidence.

Yes, not everything is sugary and sweet, but you can have a bit of mean words in between, that is okay, but you need to have real people for that matter. Who are empathetic, who are positive and who are non-judgmental. They can give you good feedback, and you can get back to your life more easily. I had a lot of foster people around me, and it did give me a great, great help to move on in life.

The people that I found, I still cherish them. They are still with me. It has been almost 17-18 years, they still with me. They still in my life. The friends that I found at that point of age. My school friends are there, but these are the people that I can cherish for my whole life. They were there when I actually needed someone, and they held my hand when I wanted them to. Without even asking once. So having such a person in life is a blessing, I believe.

Melanie Suzanne Wilson (42:02)

Have people in your life.

Aakriti, thank you so much again. You are so brave, and you are so bold, and I hope so many people can hear about your story and your strengths. Thank you.

Aakriti (At Peace. A (42:18)

Thank you so much for having me. Thank you for listening to me. Thank you so