Podcast Episode: Nichol Pieris, Single Parent and Political Staffer, Discusses Self-Care and Community Connection

Transcript

Melanie Suzanne Wilson (00:01)

We have Nicole on the podcast. Nicole, thank you so much for coming onto the show.

Nic Pieris (00:06)

No problem, my pleasure.

Melanie Suzanne Wilson (00:10)

Tell everybody about yourself and what you do for a

Nic Pieris (00:13)

Okay, about myself. Well, I live in Brisbane, well just north of Brisbane, and I have a daughter who's 12, Isabella, and she's just started high school this year. ⁓ So I'm a single mum, and I also work for the local state member of parliament. So that's what I do in my day-to-day.

Melanie Suzanne Wilson (00:39)

Awesome. So you work for a ⁓ member of parliament and you are also in a political party as well.

Nic Pieris (00:46)

Correct, I'm a member of the Liberal National Party in Queensland.

Melanie Suzanne Wilson (00:53)

And you said you're the treasurer of something.

Nic Pieris (00:56)

Yes, so our state, so we have federal seats and state seats and in the state seat, we call it our SEC, so our State Executive Council. I'm the treasurer, so I'm on the executive for that. So essentially, it's just, you know, giving your time to be able to carry out certain duties. there's, you know, chair, secretary, treasurer, vice chair, ⁓ and keeping engaged, ⁓ obviously with here in Queensland, the Liberal National Party is now in government. So my boss is a member of parliament and also in government. So we do have a lot of events and things like that. So treasurer's role can be quite important for that. Things can't get paid for without me. So ⁓ yeah, it's great to be involved though.

Melanie Suzanne Wilson (01:45)

It's great to be involved in any group where you can help the wider community. And we're talking about that before we started recording. So I think that getting involved in community might be a great place to start. You mentioned that you're a single mom and you have been for a long time. It sounds like family and community and support networks are really crucial for life, along with apparently the calendar.

Nic Pieris (02:11)

absolutely. ⁓ So, you know, I'm really lucky to have some close family around. My parents only live an hour away, which is really not too bad. I'm actually up there, up here at the moment. So ⁓ nice for a little weekend getaway, but also they're available to come down and help me if I need it. They're retired. I've got, you know, a cousin that lives nearby, some friends from church who are also great ⁓ when I need them.

⁓ You know, vice versa, if they need something. It's nice to have that little crew that you've got not far from home to be able to support you in your day-to-day.

Melanie Suzanne Wilson (02:49)

Absolutely. And so you have a teenage child, but you're very, very involved with your career. And the thing that you wanted to talk about quite a lot is, maintaining your career as a single parent. What words of wisdom do you have for single parents who are wondering if they can and should do more in their careers and in the community?

Nic Pieris (03:19)

Yeah, look, ⁓ I think my advice would be be prepared to have to juggle consistently. You know, you're the one person that is running the household and schedules. So.

You know, I think it's just important to not take things too seriously because there are going to be days where it doesn't work the best that it should. ⁓ But, you know, being open to asking for help as well, that's huge. You know, make sure you've got a good crew, people that you really trust, especially if you've got children. ⁓ But, you know, always ask because if you think about it, if someone was to ask you for help, generally we'll be like, of course we would.

So other people think that too. So I think it's really important to ask for help when you do need it. But yeah, know, career and everything. I think it's very, you know, important to make sure that, while you do have that schedule, that you do have that flexibility as well.

Melanie Suzanne Wilson (04:18)

Absolutely. Having the career and being involved in the political space and having a child within that space, I think that is very interesting that you let me know that you get your daughter involved in that. And I don't want to try to talk anyone into taking a political side as such because I've met lovely people from all ends of the political spectrum. And also I think that

Nic Pieris (04:34)

Hmph.

Bye.

Melanie Suzanne Wilson (04:47)

Great things can happen in other community groups as well, but I think the real gem in what you're doing is bringing your family into what you're doing and showing her what happens and how people run things. I could relate to that so much because I learned so many practical skills when family let me see what they do and get involved and do similar things.

Nic Pieris (05:14)

Mm.

Melanie Suzanne Wilson (05:15)

So I'm wondering, have you seen with that, have you seen your daughter growing in her understanding and her interest in getting involved in the world?

Nic Pieris (05:27)

⁓ absolutely. And, you know, she gives me that feedback all the time. She was speaking to a teacher at school the other day and who was surprised that she knew who the prime minister was and, you know, how politics worked just a general day today. But for me, getting her involved is just I always think my parents always raised me to be in the room. ⁓ So we're always there for conversations. It wasn't like kids go here and adults go here. It was very

We're a multicultural background too, so that was probably a contributing factor. But, ⁓ you know, as she is my daughter, I am able to show her the ways in which I'm aligned, where my values sit. So like you said, you know, it doesn't have to be a certain political party whilst mine is very much, you know, sitting with the Liberal National Party. I understand that people, you know, walk all different sorts of lives and, ⁓ you know, what's important to them is something that they're open.

are able to open their children to. ⁓ And really what it comes down to is I just want her to be involved. I want her to take note of what's going on around her. Politics is a great avenue to be able to understand where to refer people. That is the biggest part of this job is I have been able to see so many different service providers, community groups, and what they give back to the community. Because without, I would never have known. And I live in a small little place, really.

You know, there's 31,000 people in the area that I live. It's a big, sort of big area. It's not like Sydney, but I can't believe the amount of community groups supporting, you know, elderly people, senior citizens clubs and pottery clubs and social belonging, you know, organisations with, you know, for disability services. It's great.

Melanie Suzanne Wilson (07:21)

Absolutely. We're not; any individual person is not an island. And the common thread that I've seen with people from any set of values or anything is that we're social creatures. And also, we're not meant to just look after ourselves without help. So I think it's amazing that even within that space that you're in, you can see how, much variety there is for people to just get involved and connect with the wider world. We're preventing isolation. That's especially, of course, in this time in history. Do you agree that people need to actually see people in person as much as we're doing great things online, especially we're having conversations like this one, but there's something different about seeing the local community in person. Do you think so?

Nic Pieris (08:14)

⁓ absolutely. think we are social beings. I think that was the way that we were created. We just, it just works better. It works better being face to face, engaging with people. What you can see, like obviously, this app you're using is really good. I can see your face and your facial expressions, but it's so different to the body language that people use in person. ⁓ You know, being able to shake someone's hand and/or give someone a hug, you know, once you create community, you create lifelong friends too.

And, you know, I think that that face-to-face is important. think, like you said, you know, it does solve the isolation issue, but mental health is huge. ⁓ You know, their findings, they've conducted studies since COVID and so many people are experiencing loneliness because, you know, their social ⁓ groups have been disjointed in some way or people are then not engaged like they used to be. And I think it's...

causing a huge issue in the mental health space.

Melanie Suzanne Wilson (09:18)

So that's even happening up north in Queensland, and I assume it would be happening right around the country.

Nic Pieris (09:24)

Yeah, absolutely. Look, in this area that I'm in at the moment, the council area is the Moreton Bay Regional Council. During COVID, they actually relaxed laws around ⁓ camping on public land. ⁓ So now we have four thousand homeless people living in and around the streets and parks in Redcliffe. It's become like an epidemic.

And these people have been offered housing numerous times, but that's one of the major things that came out of COVID in our area that you see physically day to day. ⁓ People can't operate in their shops properly. ⁓ There's an increased drug issue, which is actually fueling the whole thing, ⁓ in my opinion. There's that, and there's also, I think, people were just tipped over the edge. I think that's really what happened.

Mm.

Melanie Suzanne Wilson (10:21)

That's devastating.

And I can share that I was in Queensland at the start of the pandemic before moving to New South Wales. And I remember at least for the bulk of 2020, the rules were so much more relaxed up north. And I don't know if it increased a bit since then, but there was so much more joy and people were still getting into the outdoors and so on. But I think that in other states, especially particular cities, people were hiding away inside instead of getting the sunshine.

Nic Pieris (10:47)

Mm-hmm.

Melanie Suzanne Wilson (10:50)

And they think that if there are that many issues, this is where I'm going, if Queensland has so many issues with mental health and people being able to look after themselves post pandemic, then I can only imagine that it could be even more extreme in areas where people lost even more.

Nic Pieris (10:59)

⁓

absolutely. And the thing is, don't, you know, I'm obviously working in politics myself, and you hear about all the statistics, but I don't think we've scratched the surface with actually finding out what the full repercussions have been. And I think there's a lot of

I don't know at this point, is it worth looking into it, or is it worth people jumping on the ground and aiding that issue? I think that's what we've come to. think, you know, we can do all this, out all the statistics that we want and it's good. It does aid governments in funding and services and, you know, ⁓ there's a strategy there. However, I think like we've been talking about community, people just need to hit the ground. There are so many people out there that need help and they just need to be engaged with. My parents have just started.

They're retired and they've just started volunteering at the local ⁓ community centre. They make meals for the homeless. You know, they cook in the kitchens and that's their way of, you know, they've met some friends there and they can actually see how it helps people, you know, on a daily, weekly basis. So it's great.

Melanie Suzanne Wilson (12:18)

Yes, I think that getting on with the solutions, I appreciate that so much. And I can tell you that I actually went to be in the audience of a local debate about a month ago, perhaps, where someone from a think tank was churning out all these statistics. And I was wondering, hang on, but had that person actually seen just the everyday reality of what people are dealing with in their actual lives?

the story and example behind all those statistics. Because I think that you just you see, I think you see the details of things more when you zoom in more closely than the stats. So I appreciate that so much.

Nic Pieris (12:58)

Hmm

Like, honestly, from my perspective, now I've worked for a federal member and a state member of parliament. I have never worked in a place that actually is on the ground with people more. You have people from all walks of life coming in for help. And, you know, my boss that I work for now, she has a nursing background. ⁓ So it's great. She's a wealth of knowledge in that area because health is a big thing. ⁓ know, state government looks after the health department of health. So.

You know, people are finding issues with finding housing, ⁓ you know, whether it be health issues, sometimes they're, ⁓ you know, try to get referrals, they've been waiting, they just need some information on it. We're able to just talk to those people, understand what their issues are and refer them on straight away. So, but yeah, we probably have, you know, ⁓ it's every day people email call and they come into the office, just, you know, they just pop in.

And so we're able to sit with them, try and advocate on their behalf straight away. And you carry the culture of your boss, too. ⁓ You know, with my boss, Carrie-Anne, ⁓ she's, we've all sat down and had a discussion. She, we see people, we make the time for people and, ⁓ you know, make sure that they don't leave without walking away with something. And I think that's, that's huge too. And I think, you know, even if you stop to have a discussion with somebody that might

not look okay on the street. Obviously, watch out for your safety, but at the same time, make sure that someone walks away with something. Whether it be do you need help with anything, or is there a number I can help you call, or we just don't know what impact we can have, just doing those little things.

Melanie Suzanne Wilson (14:50)

You really don't know the impact, and you can be helping someone so much with a simple thing. You're right. And saying that you're helping people so directly. I can tell you now that I heard and saw various things about politics, but I never really knew that someone who works in a political office would be so directly helping people who are desperate. I think that a lot of people wouldn't realise.

that you're doing that, and other people in similar jobs would be there to help.

Nic Pieris (15:23)

Yep, absolutely. And you know, sometimes what I find is, is that we're almost like their last resort. So when people come in, they're on desperation's door. They're like, I'm going to be homeless tomorrow. I have to have this operation, and I can't do anything, and I end. I need ’ end. I need help right now. They come in crying, frustrated. So you really see the bare nitty-gritty of life, and they've come to their luck, like, what do I have to do now? I'm just going to go to a politician's office. And then, but it's good that they spread the word, you know, so that people don't have to use us as a last resort. They can come and find out the information that they need, what support they can get from, you know, local community groups. And even though, you know, politicians don't really have anything with the setup and organisations as community groups, they're very engaged. So they know what people do. They know people's names. We know people's numbers.

We might talk to that person about this and see if we can get some help for this person's situation. So it's, yeah, it's very, very on the ground. know, they're on the ground and their electorate's going to every community event. My boss attends so many events. I manage her diary as well. So I know how many things she goes to. I know she's completely busy this weekend, you know, finding time for her family as well in amongst all of that. So they work hard.

Melanie Suzanne Wilson (16:49)

They do, they do. You see the desperate people.

Nic Pieris (16:54)

Mm-hmm.

Melanie Suzanne Wilson (16:56)

That's really significant. And I want to really acknowledge for a second that there will be people in Australia who will feel more trust with the leaders who are aligning with their values. And I think that hopefully the audience can learn from this and know even if someone could have different values, they are still trying to help as best they can anyway.

Even I think a lot of people could even be losing trust in politics in general. But there are good people in that place.

Nic Pieris (17:26)

Yeah.

absolutely.

Yeah, I think, you know, when things get tough and, you know, I'm not going to lie, things, I'm, you know, 36 now and 10 years ago, people weren't struggling with the things that they're struggling with now. It wasn't that hard. It was, it's hard for people. People are doing it tough and you can start to see a little bit happening. People are slowly starting to ⁓ protest even.

You know, we've seen a lot of protests around so it's really what what are people not happy with? What are they struggling with? The cost of living is a huge issue Which is what we see in the day, and I think, yeah I mean for me, and meeting with people ⁓ in the electorate, you know just everyday people has been really eye-opening because I Am very grateful for my position financially

community-wise, you know, I have a home to live in, I've got a daughter who goes to a private school, I'm lucky. I see people who are struggling who cannot make ends meet because of their electricity bill or the cost of... Have you gone to the grocery store lately? Have you seen how much it costs? I went to Coles the other day and I got like milk, eggs, bread, some vegetables and I swear it cost me $50. I was like, I don't know what cost $50, but that's insane, right?

Melanie Suzanne Wilson (18:56)

⁓

I have been a vegan for more than half a decade, but I can say that there are various things that just leap up or even sometimes, I mean, some things of any sort will just climb up. Even for me, I remember when the price of soy milk was going up even five years ago, and now, you realise, hang on, I don't think the incomes have really matched the prices that are going on here.

Nic Pieris (19:00)

I'm back.

Yeah, like inflation is huge, and you know, I'm the same. Have almond milk. I can't have, you know, cow's milk, but I swear it was six or seven dollars, and it's the brand I want to have, and it should be more affordable. It's almond milk. But you know, you know, we again, it's investing in your health and ⁓ some things are non-negotiables, but I'm so lucky I have that.

Nic Pieris (19:56)

because so many people don't. And, you know, they're the people that come in, and I just think sometimes it can get quite overwhelming, especially when it's been, you know, a busy day with lots of people coming in. They're very emotional. So that does take a toll. ⁓ You, I'm someone who sort of absorbs that. And I try to help, you know, coach that conversation to get around to how can we help, but also

How can we help your mental health right now? You know, did you want to come in and sit down and have a cup of tea? You know, do you want to go downstairs? Do you have any friends? Have those discussions because you can't send people away like that. I can't imagine sending people away to go to nothing. And then it's up to them whether they want to take the option, know, take the information, make that call. But yeah, it is hard.

Unfortunately, and I never thought I'd say it, I think it's really hard to live in Australia at the moment. It's hard.

Melanie Suzanne Wilson (21:00)

You're acknowledging something that is very difficult, but honest to say, but I think that a lot of people know that deep down, I can only guess what housing affordability would be like in other countries. But right now, I know that even the rental markets are so much of an issue. I I moved out of Sydney at a time when

The idea of buying a place was becoming a bit more out of reach than it had been decades ago. And now, at this time in history, people are struggling to even see an affordable, suitable rental. And I think that's becoming an issue for so many people. And on top of even that search and that need, we are living in an era where it's almost expected to have two or three jobs or have a job in your own business at the same time. It seems to be expected these days.

Nic Pieris (21:58)

Yeah, absolutely. And I've got a story for you, too. So I have a full-time job, obviously, know, bills to pay, whatever. I'm OK financially. But I almost ended up I could have been had I not had good friends, homeless, literally. So I was renting an apartment, and the owner wanted to sell, so she was really nice. I'd known her for a lot of years, and I'd been living there for a couple of years, but ⁓ she just said look, take your time, ⁓ find somewhere to go, and I had found somewhere, and then I finalised the lease and a couple of days before I was moving out, that other option fell through. There was an issue, and ⁓ I ended up actually. I've got a really good friend, she's got this big house.

in the same, just a street away from where I was living, and it's a split house. So upstairs is one house and downstairs is another. And it's all very secure as a big, I'm, I like living in apartments because I feel that it's very secure and it's safe for my daughter and I. Otherwise I'm going to, you know, have to, I always say I have to get a big, ⁓ you know, get a house with two big dogs to, to make me feel like, you know, I'm not going to be broken into or anything. ⁓ But yeah, so, and then it took me, it's, so I actually get the keys to my new place tomorrow.

⁓ But it's taken like seven weeks to find another place. And that's how bad the rental market is up here at the moment, too. There's huge demand. And I just don't think there's enough houses for people. I don't know what the story was. But, you know, I thought I'm the perfect tenant, really. I mean, I've got a daughter who's in high school. It's not this huge, big family with young children, you know, banging walls and, you know, drawing on carpet. ⁓ So how can it be hard for me?

And that's the position I was almost in. You know, I'm seeing people living in their cars, and I'm thinking, wow, had I not had my support network, that could have been me.

Melanie Suzanne Wilson (23:56)

That shows you, for starters, how crucial a network is in the community. Whatever someone's preferences are, find your people, whoever they are, because you never know. And it shows that that sort of thing happens to anyone.

Nic Pieris (24:02)

Yep, definitely.

Mm-hmm.

yeah, it can happen to anyone. That's exactly right. Like when I've told a few people and they're thinking, my goodness, it can literally happen to anyone. And I'm like, yep, you don't have to be struggling financially for it to be an issue.

Melanie Suzanne Wilson (24:30)

Yeah, I think that people don't know what someone is dealing with. And I had no idea that you had that sort of struggle because you do have amazing work that's fulfilling and looking after you. But it's terrifying when you're wondering, are you going to find these basic things that you need, and how and when will the options appear?

Nic Pieris (24:59)

absolutely.

Melanie Suzanne Wilson (24:59)

It's pretty scary when you're responsible for another human.

Nic Pieris (25:03)

And that's another thing, like, you know, the, I don't like, I hate playing the single mum card. I had a boss that used to use me as an example, because you know, Nicole's a single mum. This is what she does. I'm, can you say, you stop saying that? You know, but, but it's true. Like when I think about it, ⁓ I always said for me, it was an issue because home was so important to me to have a space that was just mine. ⁓ because in the public I'm operating at between 100 to 150 % every day. I'm talking to people every day. I'm talking to people who have huge issues every day. I'm writing to people who have huge issues every day, supporting my boss, know, just the general things in your job. And it's very front-facing. I'm connecting with people personally. So it can be, I'm an extroverted person, but it takes a toll on me some days too. And to be able to go home to the peace and quiet, the night that I don't have anything on.

just to chill out and watch a couple of movies is what we like to do when we're doing nothing, you know? And to not have that place has been quite hard. ⁓ Even though I've got my own space, it still does not feel like mine and ⁓ I'm constantly considering what's happening with other people or where's the dog or where, you know, ⁓ and you're in someone else's house. it's just, yeah, it's...

it can be very draining, but also it really makes you thankful for that time. I'm never going to be so much more grateful ⁓ for having my own apartment back. I cannot wait. I've been, you know, hanging out for this just so I can get my, little sense of peace back. ⁓ So I can't imagine what other people go through when they got to live in share housing and, you know, work a retail job or a hospitality.

and still not be able to afford to rent their own house.

Melanie Suzanne Wilson (27:03)

It is hard to imagine those scenarios, but at least you have enough lived experiences to relate to those people enough. And that's something people need to remember that, that you do understand what it's like.

Nic Pieris (27:21)

And that's another thing right with community, because you're talking to people, and it's like you're a single mom. I'm a single mom. We've had a chat, ⁓ know, the last couple of days, and you realise you have to talk to people. You have to engage even if it's not your thing because sometimes you think it's just you and when you start sharing those skills, and I call it skills because it's a skill to understand, you know, what the best way to handle a busy week is. What's a good idea that someone else has lived and has now got that experience to share with me, or I can share with them. This is what works for me. Try this. You know, people need that conversation. People need that motivation.

Melanie Suzanne Wilson (28:38)

I really wanted to go back to this self-care side of that for a second, because that has been a common theme. I've been talking to all sorts of different people in this podcast, and they have all sorts of different jobs. And you're reminding me that even in a public-facing role, and I think there are all sorts of different public-facing roles, the self-care is crucial. You've mentioned things like having a buffer in the calendar. So you're not.

overwhelmed and getting too stressed out or stretched too thin. And the support, sorry, the support networks are another form of that, but also, also just making sure that you have the space. I think it was really significant that you mentioned needing some quiet time or just a switch off away from people. And I'm not sure if people really do that all the time. And that's probably a lesson that we can learn that if you're helping people all day long, it's okay to have a break from that. So I'm getting the sense that self-care has been a part of doing what you do.

Nic Pieris (30:01)

Yeah, and look, I'm not going to sit here and say that I've done it right every single time. mean, at one stage, like in all honesty, I was drinking way too much wine when I got home and

I actually got to a point where I thought, ‘Am I an alcoholic?’ Is this how I'm using my time to, ⁓ you know, de-stress after work? And I thought this is not helping my health. I was not sleeping properly. And ⁓ then you just have to make a change. You've got to put yourself in a position where you're ready to go and you're working at full capacity the next day. I think there are two ends of the spectrum. I think sometimes people work themselves into the ground and don't take the rest when they need it. And then I also heard this really great quote the other day, and I think it was C.S. Lewis, I'm pretty sure it was C.S. Lewis, said some people are so afraid of burnout that they're not even burning. And how powerful is that?

Melanie Suzanne Wilson (30:55)

That's beautiful.

Nic Pieris (30:56)

Yeah. And I thought, you know, some, some, I know, look, I've had the criticism, oh, you do too much. Oh, this is how I'm thinking. Hmm. Yeah. Some weeks are busy, but I love what I do and I love helping people in any way I can. I have a huge capacity to do it. That's me personally. Um, but yeah, I, people might see me rushing around this area or Parliament House when I'm walking down through the things, but I still veg out. get into my pyjamas, go home, have a

real nice hot shower, sit there with you ⁓ you know those gay time ice creams I love them so much, cup of tea, a gay time ice cream in my fluffy socks and I sit there and binge watch Gilmore Girls or Friends, something that like you know

Melanie Suzanne Wilson (31:44)

You watch Gilmore Girls. I love Gilmore Girls. And of course, it's a single mom show, and it has all the caffeine in it. It was, I think, that as much as Gilmore Girls had its ups and downs in how all of those, we won’t go too much into this, I have to say as much as the characters had as their flaws. I think it said to everybody a long time ago, it's okay to be by yourself and looking after yourself, but rushing around a bit and trying to do the impossible. It showed that it was okay to do that.

Nic Pieris (32:21)

Mm-hmm.

Yeah, and look, you know, I sometimes think there's some things that I do really well and I can keep up on that. But there's other times where I'm like, my bedroom is looking really tidy, but my car looks like, you know, I've had seven children who've just played soccer, jump in ⁓ and grass. It really needs a dust. And then there's other times where I look in my fridge and things are out of date. then, but usually if I can keep three things going, like, you know,

My hair is washed, my nails aren't growing out, look how bad they are at moment. As long as I can keep it lit, feel like I'm winning. And I'm like, realistically in the grand schemes, if I've got some off milk in the fridge, you know what, it can wait till the weekend. ⁓ you, that, you know, clothes need to be washed for school, lunches need to be made, ⁓ you know, breakfast needs to be ready for the next day, coffee needs to be a thing.

Melanie Suzanne Wilson (32:59)

⁓ wow.

Nic Pieris (33:21)

⁓ So there are those things, but some days you just have to pick up and wait another couple of days till you've got some spare time. It's about prioritising. And sometimes other people come before, you know, my milk in the fridge. So that's what we do.

Melanie Suzanne Wilson (33:40)

I totally, totally get that. And so many people have used the phrase, you can have it all, but not all at once. And that probably reflects what you're describing, that it's okay if one moment you are just having some peace to yourself, but the next moment work is everything. Community is the priority, and your tidiness and perfection can wait until after you've helped everybody else. And

Nic Pieris (33:48)

Mm.

Yep.

Melanie Suzanne Wilson (34:10)

That is probably dedication that makes a difference in a lot of spaces.

Nic Pieris (34:16)

Yeah, exactly. And you know what is really great that day where you just sit there on a weekend and you've got it all done. What a great feeling. You know, sometimes it's almost worth not doing everything. So that that one weekend a month, you're like, everything's in order. I've done the shopping. The house is clean. My car is clean. My hair is washed. Like all of these things, you know, the washing is folded. There's a lot to do in amongst a busy day, especially when you don't have someone else, you know, helping. So.

Melanie Suzanne Wilson (34:50)

Yeah. Yeah. I think that so many people, it's funny, I've heard from overseas and from other spaces that the ideal these days is to get anyone to help with a lot of those everyday things. But as we discussed, we're in, we're in a social space at this point where people are barely able to look after themselves, let alone bring someone in to help. So it's a stretch, and you have that much stretch. think

That's the really interesting thing for me. I think the juggle that I've seen that I hope that you can relate to is that when you love being in community, there's this extra juggle where you want to be there for your family, and you want to do the work that you need to do to live. But then you're also passionately wanting to connect with community. And I think that that's

a beautiful tug in a few directions.

Nic Pieris (35:53)

absolutely. You know, like I've said before, we briefly touched on it. Having my daughter involved is the best thing because we do it as a family. We're together, still spending time together, but learning new things together, speaking to people together. ⁓ You know, the local, obviously, our federal election just passed and state election last year up here in Queensland. So we were volunteering on, you know, at the market stalls and yeah.

Isabella was in her little shirt, you know, ⁓ supporting our candidate and ⁓ letterbox dropping and working at the stall, talking to people, engaging with people. And it's interesting, the sort of looks that you get ⁓ with when they look at her and she's got the shirt on and they're thinking, wow, younger people are engaged. And she's not the only one. We've got another little boy who's 12 who just wants to do it himself. He's jumping in there, getting involved.

⁓ I've got really good relationship with his mum now and she always just messages me, are you doing this? Can Wade come with you? And so we have a great little community ⁓ where kids can be involved and they can. It's just, I do think it's been the most important thing is that I am happy to do it, but it's a bonus if my daughter can come with me because then I can allocate more time to it.

Melanie Suzanne Wilson (37:18)

So it helps when it's possible. And it's great that you're bringing the conversation back to how your daughter can get involved. I can reflect on my individual experience and say that I started consistently volunteering when I was 21. And I truly wish that I would have done something a lot sooner. And so I'm wondering if you have any suggestions for perhaps

parents or kids who are old enough who want to get involved in something because we talked before at some point before after I clicked record about how anyone can get involved in anything, but I think I'm wondering if there are any extra things to consider if young people are wanting to and I think this could be extra important now I think of it because young people are so glued to their screens and

Nic Pieris (38:14)

Okay.

Melanie Suzanne Wilson (38:16)

They're on social media a lot, so it could be even more important to connect, to go beyond the screens. What do you think that young people should be doing?

Nic Pieris (38:19)

⁓

I think the screen, you know, that whole, it's an epidemic. It's, they're addicted. It's the dopamine hit. There are, you know, actual studies coming out now saying that it's causing huge mental health issues within younger children. And

I know me personally, I've kept Isabella away from it. She's got an iPad for school, but she is not on social media. She does not play computer games or video games. We barely watch TV because we don't have time to. We'd rather have conversations. Yeah, I think going back to how people can help. Mean, if I think of my community now, I mean, my boss said when I first started working for him, the federal member, I wanted to go and help this group and it was Mums. It was called Red Cliff Mums Incorporated and they go around getting donations from local businesses, everyday people, they get all of the school supplies and then in January when the school term starts, they give it all the way to people that really need it and they have trivia nights to raise money, you know, they auction off hampers and things like that. They're doing amazing work. They even pay for like school uniforms for some struggling families and

I was thinking, I really want to do that. You know, I want to get involved and do that. And then my boss said to me, “You can't join every group that comes in the front door, you know.” Was like, and I want to help them. I don't want to help them. And I thought what I really found my place was being a great referral ⁓ because people generally will ask me, how can I do this? Or what do I need to do to get this grant for my local community group? Or, ⁓ you know, who can I send this person to? They're looking for a job in disability services and

You know, so you get those calls sometimes, which I think is being great. I just try and keep across what's out there and help when I can. You know, I tend to trivia night by a table or by a seat ⁓ and go and participate and help raise money, you know, or tell my friends about it. Hey, do you want to come to this trivia night? ⁓ People sometimes laugh at me for going to this, but I really enjoy them. I think it's hilarious. I think they're great. I don't know because it's. I think people laugh because they think it's this old person thing, and it's not.

Melanie Suzanne Wilson (40:31)

Why?

I

Nic Pieris (40:39)

There are so many younger people that would just absolutely love it if they just gave it a go. And, you know, I take my daughter as well. She comes to them. But I really think ways that people can really help is like the local like we've got a local breakfast club. So people go there, make breakfasts and it's people who can't afford it. It's generally the elderly community. Some, you know, young, some disabled.

but they have a place to come and sit down, have a meal, have a chat. There's also the local Salvation Army has like a little office there. So if they need extra support, know, additional support, ⁓ that's then provided. ⁓ There's, you know, volunteers are required at the hospitals. ⁓ You know, some, I remember when I first moved ⁓ from Sydney, one of my friends, I was attending a local church and she said,

I said, I just need to do something because I don't have a job yet. And in the meantime, I was just getting so bored. And she said, “Do you know that you can actually go and volunteer to feed the stroke patients?” So in the hospital said that the nurses can actually do what they need to do. But a lot of these people just need to be fed or, you know, and so I'm just thinking, I was like, it doesn't really take a lot to be able to find these places, but a lot of these places run by volunteers. So

You know, there's this other really great group, especially for guys, and I think young guys. Women do it really well, and I think men would be really great to get more involved if we could do that. ⁓ It's called Band of Brothers, and they go on these walks and raise awareness about, you know, mental health, men's mental health, and they just create a little community. They have coffee, they go on walks. They actually monitor a car park, so there's a local church.

that gives up their car parks so that single mums who are homeless living in their car ⁓ have a place to stay, and they run that. So they help in other areas too. So, you know, that's just started up by volunteers, people who have got time who want to give back. So, you know, how great.

Melanie Suzanne Wilson (42:51)

I'm glad that you brought up the need for men to have groups. And I agree. think that women for so many reasons are more easily finding groups that they can really feel belonging in and connection. And I was seeing that issue so much because of course in the last few years, was connecting with men who were

perhaps a bit more isolated than they had been in previous years. And they might be connected with family, they might try a hobby, but then it's the sort of hobby where they're just doing it individually. And I just saw that some, some blokes at least don't have a group. They don't have their people. And that has to be contributing to the mental health issues for sure. And it's definitely not

Ideal, it's not healthy. So at least from what I've seen, for example, I go to yoga, but it's normal to see a lot of women in yoga. Yoga is for everybody. But so I think some of these types of communities naturally attract women or there are the moms groups. And I passionately wish for more parents groups that include both genders without being called a mom's group. But absolutely, I think that there's room for more groups.

Nic Pieris (44:08)

⁓

Melanie Suzanne Wilson (44:17)

Alongside what you said from your boss, you said that your boss said you can't join every group. I'm getting inspired by that, don't join every group. But you agree we need more groups out there

Nic Pieris (44:22)

You

yeah. And, you know, I was ⁓ reading this book recently and it was called The Fight for Female. And it was actually sort of taking down the whole feminist movement as much as I believe that women, you know, look, I do it on my own. I'm a single mom. I do really think that men have a very strong place in our communities. ⁓ We can't do it without them. Men offer so much, and I feel like their voices just of late have been quiet. ⁓ And I do really think that maybe their community is not like what it used to be, unless you're involved in a sporting group or a rotary when you're retired or like Toastmasters as well. Yeah, I think it's really hard to connect other than if they go and have a few beers. I'm like, you know, I've got a few friends who are probably middle aged, who's still working young families and they're involved in community.

and they make time for it. hard, but they do make time for it. And I think I would like to see more of that. And I think some people do it really well. And, ⁓ you know, I will acknowledge church groups for that because they seem to engage really well with the younger community, men and women. But yeah, girls, what I had boss once that said to me, ⁓ how come he, I was working as a body corporate manager, and he said, a client asked him in front of me, “How come you always have women doing this job?” And then he just said, he turned around and he said to him, “Well, to be quite honest, women can talk under wet cement.” And he said, and that's what makes them good at this job. And I just laughed and I thought that is so funny because it's so true that, you know, as soon as you get a group of girls together and it's chit, chit, chit, chit, chit, you know, like talking, you know, talking about kids, talking about life when guys aren't as great at doing that.

And that's just, you know, a natural thing. They don't want to talk about their feelings. They don't want to talk, and you know, but that doesn't mean that they can't get involved.

Melanie Suzanne Wilson (46:37)

A friend told me that guys like to connect by just doing something around each other, be it making something, mending something, whatever it might be. So they connect by doing more than talking. It's a generalisation, but I think for some it could be true.

Nic Pieris (46:56)

Yeah, like we've got in our local community, the Men's Shed. So they build things. They've got this and then there's this other one that's the ⁓ I think it's the Men's Shed or it's some other sort of crafty thing. We got them some funding for a Wood-Mizer. Like it actually cuts planks of wood like thirty thousand dollars for this thing. But they go and make things. They give them donate to people. And yeah, I think you know, coaching soccer clubs, you know, sports coaching that seems to, you know, being part of a club, a soccer club, they go and watch the games, they have a drink after, you know, that sort of thing, I think is really good. ⁓ But I do think, you know, there are people out there, there are definitely people out there. And I think, again, it's just about creating that conversation so that people know, I can actually really actively help in this and find your interest.

Whether it be hands-on, chatting, or offering support, our church does this really great; it's got this really great group called the Love Army. So it's a bunch of guys that we hear from the community when people come and say we're in trouble, you know, there's this old lady who needed to move house and she didn't have enough money and ⁓ the Love Army gets together, bunch of guys and girls, and they go and help people move or help clear out someone's, you know, back garden, mow the

garden and prune the trees, you know, if we get that feedback from community. But unless people start talking, we don't know where to go and help. So I think that's a great idea, right? Even just on a weekend, go and mow an old lady's front garden, start a group, call them some, I don't even know, call them a name and the mowing thing, you know.

Melanie Suzanne Wilson (48:41)

Any questions?

Actually, there's a point; you would have seen various organisational structures doing what you do. And we can trust there are ways to make a group without having to be scared of overly formal structures. You can just have a group.

Nic Pieris (48:57)

Yeah, absolutely. What's stopping people from, you know, you could even, I hate, I really think I've cottoned onto something with this mow group. But like, you're Moa, are you? And then go have a drink after and have some lunch and a chat. You know, like how good would that be? I'm sure a lot of guys would like that.

Melanie Suzanne Wilson (49:18)

Yes. Well, the chat after doing something is normally the part where you connect a bit more. And I can relate to that bit because I'll be doing an event at the end of the month. And the cool part is that afterwards, the small team that set it up, we're going to chill and chat and celebrate afterwards. And I think that when you have those wins in any sort of group, you can feel a sense of achievement and achieving something together and it could be anything. I love the mowing the lawn thing that you said because guys know how to do something practical and useful and helpful. And I'm going to assume that they want to feel helpful or they want to feel useful.

Nic Pieris (50:02)

Absolutely, like it's so rewarding, right, to be able to help somebody, and you get that feedback. Mean, I love it when someone says, Thank you so much for helping me. And I just think, wow, I didn't even help them that much, but they've really appreciated that. And I think I just helped make that person's day. It's more rewarding than anything that you could do. It's someone saying, I'm grateful for you today and that time that you gave me.

Melanie Suzanne Wilson (50:29)

Absolutely. Being grateful. It's a good feeling. And you mentioned helping people to move. In this time when the housing situations are so out of control, that's something that people can do that's really small and simple. Because if someone is dealing with enough trying to even find a place and move into a place and deal with life, if you're even helping someone to move a bit of the furniture or whatever it might be, that can really make a difference.

Nic Pieris (51:03)

Oh, absolutely. You know, people can't move on their own. You can, you might be able to carry a few bags and a couple of boxes, but as soon as you're moving, you know, queen-size mattresses and fridges and washing machines, there's a lot of people out there that can't afford the five, $600 it is to move. So, you know, how do families afford that when they're already struggling?

Melanie Suzanne Wilson (51:28)

Definitely. And that's, think we've really identified something that I've been thinking for months and it's so nice to acknowledge it. I want to thank you for really acknowledging that voluntary groups or simply communities can be helping with some of these things without having to throw money at it. Because I do realise that there is some problems that need a monetary solution, but there is some, I think that there are some people out there who just need someone to do a few little things. And then I'm going to be a bit bold and say that I think Australia needs to evolve its culture into one that wants to help each other. Because I'm going to go ahead and say that I think that people are in their own little bubbles a lot.

Nic Pieris (52:23)

Absolutely. Absolutely. And, you know, children learn from their parents. So, you know, we need to be very mindful of how our children, how we're raising our children, because are we losing that community that was there in the 40s, 50s, 60s era? Now what have we got? We've got kids sitting in front of an iPad because they're being kept out of the way when we engage with them. They're not useless. Children are very intelligent little things sometimes.

You know, being able to show them how to help people is a huge thing; it's creating culture, and we need to go back to creating that volunteer community culture.

Melanie Suzanne Wilson (53:05)

You really do. So you're saying now's the time to teach, teach the next generation.

Nic Pieris (53:13)

Absolutely. Like people need to start taking their kids. People need to start having their kids in the room when they're having these discussions. ⁓ It's, you know, I don't know, I never thought of it as an issue. I was appreciated being in the room when my parents had friends over for dinner. We weren't sent away. Sometimes you'd want to go and play with the kids. But if there was none, we still sat at the dinner table. We still engaged in conversation. ⁓ People were interested in what we wanted to say as well. So

But get them out there, get them involved, get them learning about people and get them caring about people because we can't grow into a selfish community, like a selfish culture. That's really what's happening. People are like, but does it serve me? What do I get from it? We need to change that. It's just not how we're meant to be. And some people do it really well.

satisfaction that comes from it, being able to lend someone a hand, but also has anyone, if you think back to when someone really helped you when they didn't even know that you needed it, it's huge. That's so powerful, like to even think of that those times when someone just didn't even know. And sometimes, you know, look, I have struggled over time accepting help. And a lot of the time it's not because I don't want the help, it's just that when someone says, “How can I help you?” And like my dad said, “How can I help you move out of your storage unit into your new apartment?” I said, “I don't even know where to start because I don't even know what's there.” But I need to have a look at it to see, you know, how it goes. But I could have just said, sure, meet me there and let's sort it out because he just said, I've got the car, you know, I'm going to come and help you instead of trying to do it on my own. And sometimes I found pushing someone a little bit to say, well, I'm going to turn up tomorrow anyway. So, just be prepared for me to help out for an hour or something, you know, and that's just the way it starts. But, you know, we need to have, we need to be mindful of it. We need to think about how we're helping people because we can't expect the government and organisations to carry everybody. If we don't get involved, it won't reach.

Melanie Suzanne Wilson (55:25)

No.

Absolutely. And whether the money exists for some things or not, it takes so much time and there's often so much more of a complicated background to allocating money towards things. But I've seen that when some forms of service become a job, it becomes more transactional, whereas similar forms of support can happen when people are just in community. And I wanted to really acknowledge that

we both went to a religious school a long, time ago. And we hadn't mentioned this earlier in the chat, but well in the recording, but we went to the same school. It was religious. I've had a bunch of phases of being not so religious in my adulthood, but I still between that and the secular volunteering background that I was also raised in, I just grew up with a sense of people help each other and people chip in and

We still need to look after ourselves and value our time and make sure that we are okay. But I've seen again and again that there are ways to, there are ways to stay connected and supportive in a community that you could end up needing one day. And it doesn't have to be religious. If you're that way inclined, great. But I wanted to actually passionately encourage the other groups. It could be anything.

Melanie Suzanne Wilson (56:57)

So from the spectrum group over here, whatever they do, it's great. And I think there's so many groups of so many types. So even if you're not political or religious, would you agree that anyone should just get into a few groups? Not too many again, don't join every group. But do you agree that people just need to do anything?

Nic Pieris (57:16)

Hey.

⁓ yeah, look, honestly, to be honest, a lot of the groups that I've, you know, met and have worked with, they're not religious or political. Most of them aren't political. They know it's good to be able to help them in from that arena. You know, but most people aren't. So I do find that the church does, they're involved in a lot. just, whatever group I bumped into, generally there's church goers in there and that's a great culture.

⁓ because they're actively wanting to help and it just seems to come from churches. That's just the way it is. ⁓ But people aren't politically engaged, people aren't ⁓ even religious, and they still get involved. You don't have to be, you don't have to tick those boxes just to get involved.

Melanie Suzanne Wilson (58:14)

Yeah, there's a phrase that's used for spaces like the 12 steps and things I have only heard about, where people say believe in something greater than yourself. And what we're probably talking about here is a greater collective power of human communities. That's simply greater than what one individual can do.

Nic Pieris (58:39)

Yeah, I mean, there are, that's what that was that saying this power in numbers. ⁓ Because, you know, one person helping someone in in comparison to five people being able to help your resource just expands right from that. And then you tell this person and tell that person, and then you create a community without even realising it straight away. You have you end up building great relationships. So it's not just about as well.

It's not just about helping and helping people who really need it. It's actually about creating a community for yourself. It all goes around. It's a cycle. It's like you help so that you can be involved. Then you make friendships. Then you're then served by your own little community who'll be there for you. You're there for them. And then you help other people. It's like it's a great little cycle. And ⁓ people often find that when they decide to get involved, they find a whole new.

crew, a whole new family for some people. Some people don't have friends or family, and they might move somewhere new. They might move from, ⁓ you know, out of the country or interstate, and they just need to find some friends. I friends who joined a mixed, what was it, mixed soccer team, ⁓ mixed netball teams. You know, they joined those groups so they can make friends. So.

Melanie Suzanne Wilson (1:00:07)

get involved in anything. want to really, as we reach an hour, I want to acknowledge and thank you for showing what can really happen in public spaces. And I want to appreciate your vulnerability in sharing that you have struggled as much as other people do. And thanks for really, really detailing how people who are in public spaces are actually trying to help people and do actually understand and connect with community. think that has been the big takeaway that whether people can identify with the same values or not, trust that you're helping people. Other people are. I'm wondering if there's one thing you can say to an audience that in Australia and other countries, if someone isn't in Queensland and they are feeling a bit stuck,

Where should they turn? What do you suggest?

Nic Pieris (1:01:08)

Honestly, I would go to find out where your local outreach is. Everyone's got a breakfast club or a, what do they call them? ⁓ You know, the community centres run everything. If you go to the community center, you'll see something on the notice boards. Go and ask the local councillors
, and go and ask the local state and federal members. They are the ones that attend all of these events. If someone comes in, I can straight away give you 10 brochures of different community groups. So go and ask them, go and say, "‘Hey, do you know of community groups in the area?’

They're going to know. And it's a one-stop shop. You'll find all of them there. But, you know, it's been really great talking to you Mel, because you're the, think we're the same in the sense that we're not afraid to talk about the nitty gritty and be honest. And then something comes of that, because I think people just need to do that a bit more often. ⁓ And being real with people is just, there's something behind it. Because when you show your vulnerability and you tell the truth,

about what your life is. You don't understand how much it can help somebody else. And it doesn't matter if you want to have this persona of like you look like you've got everything together. Trust me, people don't have it together. Like you can't consistently have it together, but it can be done. talk to people, talk to single moms who are working, trying to put their kids through school, and, you know, struggling with other issues, ⁓ whether it be family or, ⁓ you know, family members with disability or mental health issues.

Without that discussion, it's a sad world for those people. So open up, have the discussions and see where that leads.

Melanie Suzanne Wilson (1:02:49)

Sounds like a great idea. Nicole, thanks.

Nic Pieris (1:02:53)

No problem.